One of my favorite books, “The Long Walk Home,” discussed the broken heart of the main character. She is grief stricken to the point where she can’t eat, sleep, or speak. Her aunt tells her that one day she will break up and be ok. The day finally comes, and she IS ok. Here are the five ways you know when you are over an ex.
1. You barely think about him/her - I use to wonder about this person all the time, but now I don’t care. The only time that I do is when I see something that does remind me of that person. The constant thoughts diminished, and you see yourself thinking about more important things.
2. You are totally cool about him/her dating someone else - At first, you feel this gut-wrenching jealousy that he/she is with someone else. Let me tell you that the feeling goes away. You actually start feeling sorry for this new person because she doesn’t realize what she is getting herself into.
3. You see a picture of him/her in the arms of the other person and you all think is “Meh” – Nothing bothers you anymore. You actually don’t even think about it and just go on about your business.
4. Not attracted to him/her – You look at your ex’s picture, and you do not even find him/her attractive anymore. You can see why you did, but that person is not for you anymore. It makes you wonder if he/she ever was.
5. Wonder what you were thinking - Sanity comes in to play when you laugh about how dumb you were to be broken hearted over such a person. “What was I thinking?” is all you can think about when you do think about this person. This is the final step.
One thing I have to say is that a broken heart heals, and you only need yourself to make sure that happens.
While I sit here in bed with two kids on either side and a cat at my feet, I will have to say that I am completely happy. Things are falling into place:
I am being a good friend and not flaking (will have to be a blog post later this week)
I smile every day
I sleep now
My sister, who was living in Japan, will be here soon
My parents and I finally get along
All of these wonderful things are happening because my attitude is different. My positive outlook on life has really started to seep through. I read all the books, like “The New Earth” and “Think and Grow Rich,” but was too busy playing the victim to really listen to what they were saying. After I felt like I had lost everything, I finally starting to look within. It wasn’t the world that had to change; it was me.
We are so busy blaming others for our mishaps and playing the victims that we don’t realize the reality of things. It’s like Stephen Covey said in his book. You are in control of what happens to you. No one else, so stop blaming everyone. If you hate your job, look for another one. If you are unhappy about a situation, then do something about it instead of whining and complaining.
This past week has been hell, but I guess I have finally hit the bottom. I now feel 65% better. I do not have the sad feelings that I had before. I have promised myself that I am no longer going to have my happiness in someone else’s hands. If I need to be more detached, then so be it because I do not want to feel the way I felt. It felt like I was going to faint at any second, and I didn’t recognize myself. L. and I talked, and I think we reached a breakthrough. We’ll see how long it lasts. I just know that I can’t put myself through this again. I won’t allow it.
Now I’m listening to Abba and getting ready to heat up the enchiladas I made last night.
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