I was on the plan to Tampa between an antisocial guy and a man who kept drinking rum and diet Coke. It was a trip that I didn’t want to go on because I hate leaving the kids for longer than two days, but now I am kind of glad that I am here. Side rant: I’m a little disappointed that US Airways doesn’t have Wifi on their flights, but I heard in 2010 that they will. In a way, it doesn’t matter because the bulky work PC laptop that I have to drag around would have just been a pain (it’s currently in the bin above me). Knowing me, I would have probably smacked one of the guys next to me on the head and then had him give me dirty looks the entire 2.5 hours. When I’m not working, I wonder what I will be doing to pass the time. The hotel shuttle driver said that he would take me to the malls and restaurants if he doesn’t have to pick up/drop off people at the airport. I know that I am going to do some shopping while I am here. When I’m on the plane, I always reflect about my life. Life looks good. I remember this time last year, I was hating life. Now, I can’t complain. Yes, the love department could be better, but I’m working on that. A month ago, I joined eHarmony. I tried it once before with horrible luck. I do know why. The negative energy surrounding me oozed into my words. Reading what I wrote, I wouldn’t date me. I updated it, and now I am getting tons of guys wanting to communicate.  Another reason why I wasn’t meeting anyone. Another department that I need to work on is career.  I really want to freelance full-time, but with my company keeping me, I decided maybe things happened for a reason.  I am still looking for another position.  Yesterday, I made my resume public.  I already had four c0mpanies contact me for different positions, so I think by the end of this month, I will have a better job.  At the same time, I am writing my book, blogging, and networking.  I am getting more exposure, so I can’t complain. By 2010, I envision all my efforts this year would have paid off. Photo Details: Downtown Tampa, originally uploaded by doxadigital.

Tibetan Mantras on stone, originally uploaded by James Wainwright.

This year has been full of changes.  In the beginning of the year, I was depressed, suffering from insomnia, and felt like I would never be happy.  I decided to try and remain positive while writing my yearly vision statement because I knew that I had a fighting chance to be happy if I had a mantra.

Here is my 2009 Vision Statement that I created in January:

In 2009, I will work on my stress management and letting go of my past.  Also, how I always think that the worst will occur.  I will forgive all those who have wronged me and learn to not overthink things.  I will lose 20 pounds and start getting some willpower.  I will have a regular sleep schedule and start taking care of my physical and emotional health.  The kids will be healthy in all aspects.  I will start being more adventurous and not be dependent of others.  My money management will be stable.  I will also launch my own business where I will one day be self employed and not need a day job. 

One of the things that I did was create yearly goals under each of my life categories:

1. Emotional/Mental
2. Self Development
3. Health
4. Family
5. Fun
6. Money
7. Career

I then created monthly short-term goals to fulfill those goals.  It worked!  I am 100% happier than I was when I started the year.  I look at this vision statement, and I have fulfilled the more important parts of it.  My emotional health is amazing.  I have never been happier.  Yes, there are still things that I have to work on, but for the most part, I can’t complain.  I am not being the overanalyzing, negative person who used to never smile.  People see that as well.  Before, people used to stay clear away from me, and say that I was intimidating.  No longer.  I always have people around now.  I also smile all the time. 

I do want to make some revisions to my vision statement because I am  never going to lose 20 pounds without looking sickly, and I want to talk more about my children.

Revised 2009 Vision Statement:

In 2009, I will work on not falling back into bad habits.  I will continue remaining positive and not dealing with negativity. Also, I will not worry about what others think of me, and I will make the best decisions for me.  The only other people I will think about when making life decisions are my children.  I will focus on teaching them other languages and letting go of their shyness. The kids will be healthy in all aspects. I will continue focusing on my being successful in my freelance writing business.  Most important thing is to enjoy my life, and not have any regrets.

  

Looking Up At The Stars, originally uploaded by Abbey Wuthrich.

There are moments in life where I just do not feel happy for one reason or the other. I think the dark clouds and the constant raindrops plaguing DC are not helping the situation. I’m one of those people who has to live in an area that is constantly sunny and dry. I feel like one of Brian Lumley‘s character who was in tune with the environment, and her attitude changed with it – Eco Empathic. It also doesn’t help that I haven’t exercised since Monday. The lack of energy is not helping my behavior either.

Also, I have been too busy lately, and I need to start shaving off some of the things that are currently on my schedule. I feel like I never have any time to sit and relax. This is the first time in months that I have been able to lay in bed and do nothing. The funny thing is that I don’t know what to do with myself. I keep checking my email, Google Reader, and phone to try and find something to do. Finally, I have told myself to chill out. Enjoy this time, and learn how to not always have 1,000 things going on at once.

Before I go pick up the kids, I think I am going to take a bath with candles, close my eyes, and meditate.

Skip

Originally uploaded by C.A. Bourke

Dating and love in general has been rough for me lately, so I have decided to date myself. My ex called and when I said that, my ex was flabbergasted.

“What? You don’t want to get back together?”

“Mmmmm…no, not really, I want to spoil myself. Sorry.”

I think that is something that everyone should do. Instead of constantly trying to be around others, you should consider taking time to really make yourself happy. My entire life has been spent trying to make others happy. I am a pretty selfless person, so I’ve always had others (e.g. sisters, parents, significant others, etc.) monopolize my time to the point that I never did anything for myself. This is coming to an end. I am learning how to say “no” and just be plain selfish.

I’ve only been doing it this week, and I am already smiling more and just excited about the activities that I choose to participate in. Try it. It will give you some peace of mind.