Flying back to my reality. It’s kind of frightening, but at the same time, I am relieved. I miss my children, cat, parents, condo, etc. One thing I won’t miss is work. I really need to focus on my freelance writing business. It’s what I am passionate about, and I don’t have to work for anyone. When I talk to Matt about it, I am so envious on how he has two business and can usually do whatever he wants. I would kill to have that luxury, so I have to do something about it. The time with Bridget was amazing. She is one of the most genuine people that I have ever met. I know that if I ever needed anything and my parents weren’t around, she would be there for me. We talked a lot about our lives and the people in it.
Bad People Who Need to Be Fired:
There are some miserable people out there who just want to see you unhappy. For the longest time, I have given three of these types of people power over me. Even though they knew I was on vacation, Grover and Eric were total dicks (Grover more than Eric), and I find out that Laura is getting what she doesn’t deserve. Bridget, Dawne, etc. are right. Who f*ing cares. They are miserable people who will feign happiness, but because they are selfish (in not a good way), destructive, and malicious, there is no possible way they are truly happy. However, if there is the off chance that they are truly happy, so be it. I should be glad that they are no longer in my life. I have so much going for me: wonderful kids, family, friends, health, and career. If these people are dragging me down, then it’s my fault because I am giving them this power.
After having that conversation with Grover, and he texting me that he is having sex with a 22-year old girl (he’s 38!), I am overly disgusted. At first, I felt totally hurt and resentful, but then I was calm. It was the first time (probably in his life) he had been direct and not cared to be seen as the bad guy. I told him that I wanted nothing to do with him, and he retorted back that he didn’t care about me and to delete his number. Nice comeback. Maybe now that he finally was 100% honest and direct for the first time in his life, he will be able to stop being such a depressed person.
Eric is annoying. My mom told him on Friday that she is sick and tired of him antagonizing me. Thanks Mom!
Laura is the reason that Grover and I fell apart, and now she texts me and tells me that the guy, who found out what a psycho she is, and her are back together. I was shocked and pissed about it, but then Bridget and I went out in the sunny, LA weather, and I said who f*ing cares. It’s like Amani said, “You can’t be sad in LA.” I shouldn’t wish her any ill will. If the guy wants her, then so be it. He knows what she’s about, and if he accepts her as a lying, cheating person, then she should be happy. It’s like my friends said it’s his funeral.
From now on, I am not going to accept anyone’s crap. If that person starts become emotionally unavailable, emotionally abusive, or emotionally unstable, then I am going to cut all ties and move on.
Keeping Up With Friends:
I really loved how everyone was always calling and hanging out with their friends. Yesterday, Bridget and I had lunch with one of her friends. I told him how I am really going to make an effort to call my friends and hang out because usually I see them twice a year. He almost coughed up his coffee, and replied, “TWICE A YEAR! No way! That is awful.” Straight from the mouth of a Cali guy. These are the people I consider my best friends:
- Bridget
- Dawne
- Shauna
- Tanya
- Chris
- Latisha
Girls and guy, be ready to be called and asked to hang out. It doesn’t matter the time, I will make time for you. There are some of you who I haven’t seen in forever. It isn’t happening anymore.
Stress:
I need to learn how to manage my stress. When something occurs, I don’t know what to do about it. It’s time that I learn. I was proud of myself yesterday because after some news, the old me would have freaked and talked about it forever and a day. Yesterday, I told Bridget about it, smiled, and we started laughing about our underground ghetto fabolous selves. I need to learn willpower when someone says, emails, or texts me that pisses me off. The most insulting thing one can do to another person is to ignore them. Ignoring people is something that I am good at, but I need to learn to do it to people who really infuriate me.
This trip was exactly what I needed. I feel like I did when I went to Aruba: reenergized, calm, relaxed, and happy. I felt guilty that I had left the kids and Haji for over a week, but you know what, I have not done that in the seven years that I’ve had kids, and I needed it. I want to move to LA now. Don’t get me wrong. I love DC, but there are some things that I am tired of and want a change. I have so many things that I am thankful for. I might be in DC, but I am in a LA state of mind.
