back to school blackboard, originally uploaded by mystockphoto.

This morning, after I had left the house, my cell phone rang.

“Shevonne speaking,” I answered.  I don’t know why I never say hello anymore.  It’s just something I haven’t done in years.

“Hi, Ms. Polastre.  This is Mrs. Bacon.”

It was my son’s (and soon-to-be daughter’s) school principal.

At the end of December, after my ex started to become more and more MIA from the kids’ lives, my son started acting up in school.  The counselor, teacher, and principal didn’t label him a “bully,” like they would have done at other schools.  They would call and email me to let me know how he was doing, they put him in counseling sessions at school, and would praise him when he behaved. At my end, I sat down with him and told him that it isn’t his fault that his father is not more involved.

It was very important to me that my son not be labeled a “bully” or any similar words.  When you start throwing labels out to children, they start believing them and playing the part.  You could even say that it happens to adults as well.  My parents would always have labels for my sisters and me, and I saw how it affected us.  I don’t want that to happen to my children.  I told them this, and they wholeheartedly agreed that labels do not help.

The principal and I chitchatted for awhile, and she then asked to talk to Cebastian.

“Hi, Mrs. Bacon,” he said.

By his smile, I could tell she said some nice things, and then he said goodbye and handed the phone back to me.

“Ms. Polastre, I just wanted to tell you that I hand picked your son’s second grade teacher.”

“Is she strict?” I asked.

“Yes, she is.  However, I didn’t want her to be so strict that it suffocates his individuality because he is a very unique person.  She will be perfect for him,” she said.

This is how schools should be.  I can tell that she genuinely cares for the students that attend the school.  When I was going to school, the counselors and principal didn’t care to really interact with their students.  If someone misbehaved, instead of working with the parents, they would label them and not deal with the issue behind the superficial one.  They didn’t know anything about their students’ personalities.

My children’s school is definitely different.  They get that a school is part of the community, and that it takes a community to raise a child; not just the parents.  I am not saying that parents are not the core of a child’s upbringing, but their environment also helps mold that child.

I received the call a parent dreads…..the Principal.  After speaking with her, it seems that Cebastian, who told me he was finally behaving, hasn’t been.  I wish it would have happened before my spin class because I was more frustrated than ever.  She was very pleasant and said that Cebastian seemed to understand what he did wrong.  I had to smile at that because she doesn’t know how strong-willed Cebastian can be.  She said not to punish him because she had already spoken with him.  Maybe she heard it in my voice that I was not going to let this fly quietly.

While Isabelle practiced soccer, he sat next to me dreamingly staring at the playground.  When we got home, he did his homework, read, and went to his room.  I got an email from the teacher, and it took me 30 minutes to respond.  

My ex says that I am too strict on the kids, and so when they go to school, they misbehave.  It makes me wonder.  Am I too harsh on the kids?  I mean, this is coming from the guy who only sees them four days out of the month, and barely calls or is involved more than he has to be.  I still had to wonder if I am.  

I watch “Nanny 911” and “Supernanny.”  I also read tons of parenting books.  How can I control what he does in school if he behaves one way at home and another at school?  I will try though.  

I already let him know that a. I will have lunch with him every day until he starts behaving and b. He will not open his presents until he behaves for a week straight. 

Too harsh?  Maybe, but he will have to deal with it.