“Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.”
I have a paralyzing fear of bugs. It doesn’t matter how small the bug is, I still can’t move. The fear is so bad that I start crying and screaming if one comes too close to my perimeter. I wonder when this started happening. Was it when a grasshopper fell on my head when I was a little girl living in Panama? Or was it when the cicadas infested DC and one landed on my back? Or was it the crazy amounts of bugs that always seem to want to come near me? All I know is that it’s a fear that I need to overcome because it’s getting to the point of embarrassment.
Two examples:
First: A few weeks ago, I was walking in DC with my friend. A couple, which included a man who looked like he could scare his own mother, was approaching us. When all of a sudden I peered down and saw roaches all over the place. I began screaming and jumping like a crazy woman. The man jumped, scared at me like I was insane, and they crossed the street to get away from me. It was funny that here I was afraid of him when they were coming towards us, but in the end, my insane phobia made him be frightened of me.
Second:Just now, a house centipede started crawling towards my room while he was in the shower. Isabelle and I were paralyzed and couldn’t move. We waited ten minutes until he got out of the shower and had him kill the bug. Cebastian is my protector against all the bugs in the world. One time I was driving, and he said, “Ummm…Mommy?”
“Yes Cebastian?”
“Oh..uh…I’ll wait til you stop the car.”
A few minutes later, we were at my parents’ house. I turn to him.
“What is it?”
“Get out of car first.”
I never heard him sound so serious, so I did what he told me. The next thing I know, he smacks a big bug that was right on top of the driver’s seat. I almost fainted.
What should I do to get over this fear? I am even considering hypnosis because it is debilitating. I just want to be able to realize that the bugs are way smaller and are more afraid of me. I know this, but it doesn’t help when I see one coming over to me. I could swear that their little beady, little eyes are looking at me like “Oh you better not step.”
