People And Society

Hey Miss, Why Are You Running Alone in the Dark?

I was driving home at 4:30 a.m. today when I got to the entrance of my neighborhood. It was pitch dark, but I noticed some movement. When I looked closer, I noticed three girls who looked no older than 14 walking alone. It baffled me to see this because they were heading out of the neighborhood into the rest of the city. On my way to Bikram Yoga, which was around 5:15 a.m. and still dark, I noticed a woman running alone.

We’ve all seen it on the news. The woman who went running alone in the dark who gets mugged and/or raped. Or the girls who didn’t tell anyone where they were heading and were never seen again. I have seen these stories repeat since I was a little girl. They say you should know your history so you don’t keep repeating the same mistakes, but it seems some women just don’t learn. Why are you running alone in the dark? Why are you walking in the dark at such a crazy hour? I can’t even see, other than my car light, but you insist on being out there. On top of that, woman who is running, you have an iPod on, so you are not even super aware of your surroundings. Come on woman, get it together. I don’t want to turn the news on, and see something bad happened to you for committing such an irresponsible act. Little girls, you are wearing sandals, tank tops, and shorts. You wouldn’t even be able to run if some crazy person were to go after you.

I am not saying that we should live in a state of fear. However, we should also not make it easy for something awful to happen to us. If you are going to be out by yourself, then make sure it’s still at least semi-light outside and that you are not walking where no one can see you. I don’t even know what to say about those girls because I am not sure why they would be out there at that time. I was going to stop the car and ask, but then I would have probably scared them to death, and I didn’t want to do that. At that age, you think nothing can happen to you. I have something to say to you. Something bad CAN happen to you. You are not invincible.

Women, just be careful and don’t put yourself in dangerous situations.

Sorry! Can’t Be a Godmother Unless You Are Part of a Church

Mother’s Day 2009

Originally uploaded by dreamingindc

My older sister calls me this morning to asks me something.

“I need to ask you something.”

“What?”

“Do you want to be Ethan’s Godmother?”

I screamed for awhile and then said, “YES!” I’m already my niece’s Godmother, so I am glad to also be my nephew’s. This is when she decides to drop the bomb on me.

“You will have to join a church,” my sister sheepishly says.

With my niece, my sister was able to allow her church to bypass that rule, but it seems with this church, they are not as forthcoming.

This really bothers me. What if I was an Atheist or Agnostic? I wouldn’t be able to be a godparent?

Derrick asked the question this week wondering who was religious. Many people answered that they were spiritual, but not religious. I was one of those people. I’ve read books on different religions, and I have talked to many people. I don’t think there is one religion that has it more right than the rest. All of them have gotten bits and pieces right, so I don’t believe that I have to go to one over the other.

Now, I have to join a church and go (probably) for a month to become my nephew’s Godmother. There is another issue I have with this. I will feel awful doing this to a church. You meet the people and invest time in getting to know them, just so you never go after a month? I think that is just as wrong.

I’m really having issues with this, and I really feel like calling my sister’s church and raising these questions to them. Or should I just do this for my nephew, even though I don’t think he is really benefitting in any of this. The only thing maybe is that he is going to be getting spoiled by me. However, I am his aunt, so he would anyway.

I Had Kids With the Missing Link

Two people drifting apart is a way of life. Maybe they both started off on the same level, but then one was left behind. This is what happened with my ex (father of my kids) and me. While I am extremely ambitious, focused on my children, and have a hunger for learning, he is the total opposite. I got my college degree while I was about to pop with both kids with no help from him, even though we were living together. I dropped the kids off at my parents so I could go to school. He doesn’t see the kids but four days out of the month, and he has not gone back to school. He asked for my help once, and I gave him all this information. Nothing.

I didn’t realize how much this guy was jealous of me and my achievements until he came for Christmas Eve.

The entire time he was at my condo, he was sizing it up. Additionally, he kept criticizing everything.

“The litter box should be some place else”
“Your kitchen floors are not right”
“Your bathroom toilet is running”
“I think your refrigerator is broken”

I ignored him because I realized it was just jealousy that I bought my own place in Fairfax, while he has a house that is falling apart in Fredericksburg.

He spent the entire time on his laptop, which made me wonder why he even bothered to show up. Instead of researching to find a good college or something to that extent, he was playing a Vampire game on Myspace. Hello! Myspace was sooooo 2007.

He bitched about taking out the trash for me; helping me hook up the Wii; and anything under the sun.

He lacks the culture that a 32-year old man should have. He didn’t know what proscioutto was; kept asking what this and that was when I got Cheesecake Factory appetizers; and looked awkward holding a glass of good, red wine.

I noticed all of this and wondered how I ever was involved with such a uncultured, lazy man. I think he realized that he was outclassed because he didn’t even spend Christmas with his kids.

He is now upset because of this, so he has resorted to being the dick he usually is.

He is refusing to sign the passport form, so I can get the kids’ passport for Panama, so I might have to cancel the trip. =(
He was calling every day to talk to his kids for a month cause we were getting along. Now? He is back to his old ways. He didn’t even call the kids to wish them a happy new years.
He called me two days after Christmas Even to say that my son might have learning issues. Since my son was two, I have been taking him to speech therapy, volunteering at his school, teaching him on my own. The teachers say he is one of the smartest kids in the class. This guy has never even met the kids’ teachers or anything, but he slammed the phone when I said that he doesn’t know what he is talking about.

I wish he would just terminate his rights. He doesn’t do anything except show my kids that he is a lazy, uneducated loser who still behaves as though he is in his early twenties.

I’m shocked that he is still the way he is. This is the first time since 2004 that I have been in the same roof as him. I thought that maybe time had made him mature, but I have realized that he is the same uncultured, uneducated guy I met when I was 21.

I hope he one day wakes up, or that he finds a strong woman who will help him with his disabilities.