I saw this excerpt from NBC Nightly News and felt compelled to answer it. I think women having the option to have successful careers, just like men, has been a positive impact on society. Before, the women had to carry the weight on everything having to deal with the family, while men just focused on being the breadwinner. Now, you see that the family structure has changed where the relationship between the man and woman is now more of an equal partnership than before. Yes, you still have those cases where the family dynamic hasn’t changed much, but overall, it is continuously changing where the men are more involved with raising their children.

Technology has also helped because more and more companies are offering employees the chance to telecommute. In this way, parents are able to have the best of both worlds: a successful career and raising their families, as if someone was staying at home with the children. I know for me, I have been able, since Cebastian was one, to work from home a few times a week, so the children have been able to have me there with them.

I remember growing up, my mother didn’t have those options, so she was not very active in my life during the week. I envied my friends whose mothers were able to volunteer at school and take them to after-school activities. My children don’t have that issue because they always have me there when they need me. It’s one of the reasons that I became a Writer. Before I found out I was pregnant, I was going to school for Computer Science, but I knew that I wouldn’t have the flexibility needed to have a good career while raising my children. I didn’t want them to miss having me there with them, and I didn’t want to be in a job where I had to stress if I had to take off for one reason or the other.

Last night at Cebastian’s Cub Scout Pack Meeting, when they recognized me for the monthly newsletter I designed for them, I saw his face. He was so proud of me, and couldn’t help smiling and saying to his fellow cub scouts, “That’s my mom!” It was a wonderful feeling, and I know that society has changed for the better allowing women to have a career while also being able to raise their children.

Last year, I was listening to a special NPR podcast, “For Prospective Moms, Biology and Culture Clash,” where they were discussing how women are having babies at an older age.  They indicated that one of the reasons that this is happening is that more women are putting having a child on hold to go to school and/or have a successful career.  However, the age when women are having children is starting to decrease due to technology and telecommuting.  Technology is making it possible for women to have “it all” because more and more women are telecommuting or starting their own businesses.

“We’re seeing more and more women working at home with the computer. We’re seeing the rise of women in small businesses where they can control their time,” Fisher says. “I think even the established business community is beginning to realize men and women were built to work together, so women can have their children when they’re young and also sustain their career.”

When I learned that I was pregnant with Cebastian, I knew that I needed to find a career that would allow enough flexibility to be there for him (and Isabelle when she arrived) whenever I could.  For awhile, I had a job where they were a stickler for the 9-5 schedule and would make you work overtime.  I had to always stress as to which family member could watch him.  After leaving that job, I vowed never again.  My kids were more important.

My childhood was another reason.  When I was a child, my mother was going to school and working, so we barely saw her.  I remember how much I envied my friends, whose mothers could attend plays, field trips, and other activities, because my mother couldn’t.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t have any resentment because during my mother’s era, there wasn’t an option to telecommute.

It is something that is also important to me because I am a single mother and don’t have anyone who helps me with the kids.  My ex is practically absentee, and my mother has never been the type to watch my children (unless I beg).Since 2004, I’ve had flexibility and the option to work from home.  It’s one of the things that a job needs to have before I accept it .

Yesterday I went on an interview.  One of the first questions I always ask is “Does your company have a healthy work/life balance?”

The manager said that they put in eight hours a day, and then head home.  However, there are occasions where they would have to work overtime.  I followed up.

“During those times, do you give the option to telecommute?”

She shook her head.

“Unfortunately no.  We do not allow telecommuting.”

I should have stopped the interview right there because I knew that it wouldn’t work.  She said the Department of State (DoS), who they support, didn’t allow them to have that option.  I wanted to interrupt her and tell her that I worked with the guys who ran the networks for DoS, and that I used to work from home all the time.

In this time and age, when everyone is heading to cloud computing, portability, and virtual offices, how can a company not offer telecommuting?  I asked this question on FriendFeed and got some interesting comments.  Rochelle brought up a good point.  Not all professions, like health professionals, can have this option.  This is true, but for the majority of the professions, there isn’t much of a reason to go into the office, unless it’s to go to a meeting (even that is debatable) or talk to a client.

Companies need to keep up with the advancements in technology, and realize that there are tons of pros for allowing their employees to work from home .  They need to realize that they can save money if they allow their employees to work from home. Additionally, they would have happier employees if they allowed this.

For me, I am diligently trying to re-launch my freelance writing business, so I don’t have to deal with this dilemma again.

Cupcake Party, originally uploaded by dreamingindc.

Today was Cebastian’s Cupcake Party to say goodbye to his last days of First grade. Tomorrow is Isabelle’s Kindergarten graduation, and she will be heading to Cebastian’s school. I know that before the week is over, I am going to cry knowing that my children are one day not going to be children. They will one day be adults and have their own families and lives.

I have always been overprotective of my children, so I don’t know how I am going to let them go. I wonder if I am going to be the meddling mother who is always trying to tell them what to do, even when they are 50. Eventually, I will have to though and hope that I gave them the skills to be functioning adults. My paranoia with something happening to them is over extreme, so I am not sure how I will do this.

Scary thing happened yesterday that tested this:

I come to my son’s babysitter house, and I see him crying outside her door saying that no one was home. Her kids weren’t on the bus either. I called her and emailed her saying that I will make sure she never watches children again. It’s sad that this woman is a mother and is so inconsiderate. However, my sister says that maybe something happened to her, so I should call the police. I am still debating cause I don’t want to waste the police’s time on checking up on this woman, and finding out she was just being negligent.

This situation stressed me out because all the “what-if” scenarios that ran through my head. Someone could have taken him or he could have gotten hurt. Luckily he did what I always told him and just sit where everyone can watch him and not move.

I think I am overly paranoid and protective of my children, but they are my everything: my companions, my true loves, my happiness, and I can keep going. My life without them would have no meaning.

Cebastian and Isabelle,

I know that one day I will have to let you go, so that is why I am now living in the present and not thinking about the past or future. I want you to know that having you has been the best part of my life. Life before you didn’t exist. I will always love and be proud of you.

Love,

Your Mom

The kids and I tried to make a gingerbread house.  We failed miserably.  It kept falling apart because the icing wouldn’t hold it.  I attempted to cheat with glue, but that didn’t work either.  They kept saying they needed their abuela there, so my mom got one that we are going to try to put together tomorrow.  At least I got some cute pictures!

After going grocery shopping, Cebastian, who doesn’t have school for two days due to parent/teacher conferences, and I went to his teacher conference. She said he is excelling at school, and that his behavior is getting better. I was pleasantly surprised. He was waiting outside the classroom for me. He asked me how he was doing?

I said, “Cebastian, you are doing amazing in school, and Ms. Seidel says you are doing better with your behavior.”

His response? “Mom? Don’t you feel sorry that you doubted me.”

I started laughing, and I said, “Sorry Cebastian, I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

He said, “That’s ok mom, I forgive you.”

Hahahahahaha….Crazy kid.