Posts tagged ‘Mental health’

Who Am I?

19 August, 2009 | dcfemella | Comments

doloresclairborne

I’m always trying to learn more about myself.  At 30, I can say that I have lived the lives of ten people, and I have gone through things that would have made some people go to an insane asylum.  I pretty much know who I am, my good traits, and my bad ones.

Good Traits – I’m loving, romantic, intelligent, knowledge seeker, genuine, ambitious, never give up, responsible, smart, organized, honest,, loyal, good listener, family oriented, adventurous, appreciates the smaller things in life, talkative, open minded, nonjudgmental, humorous, loves to laugh, will try something at least once.

Bad Traits – I can be neurotic, stubborn, quick to disregard people, narcissistic, get bored easily, melodramatic, over analyzer, easily irritated, can’t hide my emotions, somewhat OCD, and picky

In the past, I beat myself up for my bad traits, but now I embrace them. Everyone has flaws, so it isn’t like I am the only one.  I know that I have to work on them getting out of control, but just realizing which ones they are, I am on the right path.  Looking at this list, I know that I have far more good traits compared to my bad ones, and that’s all that matters.


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Vision Statements Are Like Mantras For the Soul

27 July, 2009 | dcfemella | Comments

This year has been full of changes.  In the beginning of the year, I was depressed, suffering from insomnia, and felt like I would never be happy.  I decided to try and remain positive while writing my yearly vision statement because I knew that I had a fighting chance to be happy if I had a mantra.

Here is my 2009 Vision Statement that I created in January:

In 2009, I will work on my stress management and letting go of my past.  Also, how I always think that the worst will occur.  I will forgive all those who have wronged me and learn to not overthink things.  I will lose 20 pounds and start getting some willpower.  I will have a regular sleep schedule and start taking care of my physical and emotional health.  The kids will be healthy in all aspects.  I will start being more adventurous and not be dependent of others.  My money management will be stable.  I will also launch my own business where I will one day be self employed and not need a day job. 

One of the things that I did was create yearly goals under each of my life categories:

  1. Emotional/Mental
  2. Self Development
  3. Health
  4. Family
  5. Fun
  6. Money
  7. Career

I then created monthly short-term goals to fulfill those goals.  It worked!  I am 100% happier than I was when I started the year.  I look at this vision statement, and I have fulfilled the more important parts of it.  My emotional health is amazing.  I have never been happier.  Yes, there are still things that I have to work on, but for the most part, I can’t complain.  I am not being the overanalyzing, negative person who used to never smile.  People see that as well.  Before, people used to stay clear away from me, and say that I was intimidating.  No longer.  I always have people around now.  I also smile all the time. 

I do want to make some revisions to my vision statement because I am  never going to lose 20 pounds without looking sickly, and I want to talk more about my children.

Revised 2009 Vision Statement:

In 2009, I will work on not falling back into bad habits.  I will continue remaining positive and not dealing with negativity. Also, I will not worry about what others think of me, and I will make the best decisions for me.  The only other people I will think about when making life decisions are my children.  I will focus on teaching them other languages and letting go of their shyness. The kids will be healthy in all aspects. I will continue focusing on my being successful in my freelance writing business.  Most important thing is to enjoy my life, and not have any regrets.

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Do You Keep Up With Your Goals?

6 May, 2009 | dcfemella | Comments

SMART Goal Setting Motivational Mind Map Poster

Originally uploaded by IQmatrix

Goal setting is something that I think that every person should do in order to achieve their dreams. When I had my children, I really started to focus on ensuring that I reached my full potential. Why? I knew that anything that I did affected their future. Therefore, I created a five-year plan. My goal setting is a little extreme, but this is the only way I make sure I complete everything that I want to do:  

  1. I create a five-year plan that is broken down by six life categories: Emotional/Mental Health, Self Development, Family, Health, Money, and Career
  2. I break this down further into yearly goals
  3. I further break this down into monthly goals, which are my short-term goals 

The best way for me to track the progress is by using 43Things, which I have been using for years. It is great because you are able to read other people’s progress, which really encourages to keep going. Additionally, you are able to write entries, so that you are able to share your story with others. One great feature is that it can integrate with your blog, so that you can share it with your blog readers as well. Below are my top-ten goals for May:

Do you have long-term and short-term goals? Do you have a way to track them?  


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Write a Letter to Your Kids At Least Once in Your Life

28 December, 2008 | dcfemella | Comments

A letter is the most beautiful gift you can give to another human being.

I’ve gotten in the habit of writing letters to my children every three months or so.  I think I started doing this after my ex’s stepfather committed suicide.  My ex’s mother was devastated for years wondering why couldn’t he have left some type of goodbye.  Even though I will never commit suicide, I want to write letters to my children, so they will have them if something were to ever happen to me.  

If you are thinking of doing the same thing, try and use beautiful paper.  I use paper from Paperchase.  There is also Papyrus that I absolutely adore as well.

I just read about a five-year old cancer patient who wrote hundreds of note to her family, so they could handle her deaths.  She even wrote notes to her sister labeled “How to Handle Kindergarten.”  Letters are powerful.

Related article: http://www.parentdish.com/2008/12/29/five-year-old-cancer-patient-leaves-thousands-of-notes-for-her-f/#

 

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Don’t Be a Victim In Life

14 December, 2008 | dcfemella | Comments

Last night I was feeling totally bummed about all the problems that Laura had caused. I felt like she had ruined my life. What makes me feel worse is that I allowed her to do it.  Dawne enlightened me.  She is right.  Why be unhappy?  Why give that girl credit where it isn’t due?  If I continue thinking about all the lies and fucked up things she did, I will only be letting her win.

I’m still young, so I will eventually find someone who will be my support.  I am not going to think about that anymore.  I will think about the people and things that I am thankful for: my children, family, friends, health, career, and life.    I cried and cried last night, but Dawne made everything ok.  I woke up in a different mood.

I feel happy, refreshed, and alive.  I haven’t felt this free since 2006.  I will pretend that I am starting my thirties today.  No more crying, whining, complaining, harassing, or thinking about people who don’t do anything but make me sad.  It’s time I reclaim my life.  I’m not dead, so I will be fine.  I never again will think about those two people again.

Thanks Dawne!  You’re a good friend and are right.  I am going to let it roll of my shoulders.  You are amazing.

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