Posts tagged ‘loser’

Can You Really Be Upset With Someone Who Always Disappoints?

18 April, 2009 | dcfemella | Comments

evolve-104 (exhibition 2008)

Originally uploaded by sean eng

When someone disappoints you, should you get upset when he/she does it once more? I realized today that my friend is right. You really can’t. My ex is the same person he was when I met him ten years ago: irresponsible, self centered, a dreamer, and neurotic. I could add more traits, but I don’t think there is a point on going there. He has never been a good father or person, in general, so I should stop getting stressed when he screws me over.

He hasn’t seen the kids in a month or called, so I thought he would make more of an effort to pick them up for the weekend. No, he got “lost.” He mentions he has a Blackberry. I tell him to check the maps or online, he says no, he doesn’t want to. I kept pressing the matter, and he said that he doesn’t have internet on his Blackberry. This is after he was on Gmail Chat the entire time. I had to drop my daughter off at her game, take my son to his game, run to her game, pick her up, and go to my son’s game. He not once showed up.

I send him an email stating what happened today, and he says that I am trying to keep him away from his children and that I try to make him look bad (huh?). When I was with him, my best friend told me that is something abusive people do. They turn everything around on the other person, so they end up with no fault. It use to work in the past, but now, it doesn’t.

One of the greatest thing about being human is our ability to constantly evolve. It bothers me to see someone who is still the same person he was when I met him ten years before. I fear passing away before my kids are self sufficient. Why? They would be raise by their father. I think it would be like Terms of Endearment, and he would eventually give the kids to my mother. However, I wouldn’t like that because then the kids would feel like they weren’t good enough for their father to keep them, so he gave them away. Even though, in reality, he is the one who isn’t good enough for them.

He is never going to change, so I have to realize that. I sometimes am tired of being mother and father to the kids, and having no help. However, I’d rather deal with a little stress than have to endure this man. I hope he begins to evolve, but for now, I have to evolve my thinking to not get upset when he once again disappoints the kids.


I Had Kids With the Missing Link

2 January, 2009 | dcfemella | Comments

Two people drifting apart is a way of life.  Maybe they both started off on the same level, but then one was left behind.  This is what happened with my ex (father of my kids) and me.  While I am extremely ambitious, focused on my children, and have a hunger for learning, he is the total opposite.  I got my college degree while I was about to pop with both kids with no help from him, even though we were living together.  I dropped the kids off at my parents so I could go to school.  He doesn’t see the kids but four days out of the month, and he has not gone back to school.  He asked for my help once, and I gave him all this information.  Nothing.

I didn’t realize how much this guy was jealous of me and my achievements until he came for Christmas Eve.

The entire time he was at my condo, he was sizing it up.  Additionally, he kept criticizing everything.

  • “The litter box should be some place else”
  • “Your kitchen floors are not right”
  • “Your bathroom toilet is running”
  • “I think your refrigerator is broken”

I ignored him because I realized it was just jealousy that I bought my own place in Fairfax, while he has a house that is falling apart in Fredericksburg.

He spent the entire time on his laptop, which made me wonder why he even bothered to show up.  Instead of researching to find a good college or something to that extent, he was playing a Vampire game on Myspace.  Hello!  Myspace was sooooo 2007.

He bitched about taking out the trash for me; helping me hook up the Wii; and anything under the sun.

He lacks the culture that a 32-year old man should have.  He didn’t know what proscioutto was; kept asking what this and that was when I got Cheesecake Factory appetizers; and looked awkward holding a glass of good, red wine.

I noticed all of this and wondered how I ever was involved with such a uncultured, lazy man.  I think he realized that he was outclassed because he didn’t even spend Christmas with his kids.

He is now upset because of this, so he has resorted to being the dick he usually is.

  1. He is refusing to sign the passport form, so I can get the kids’ passport for Panama, so I might have to cancel the trip.  =(
  2. He was calling every day to talk to his kids for a month cause we were getting along.  Now?  He is back to his old ways.  He didn’t even call the kids to wish them a happy new years.
  3. He called me two days after Christmas Even to say that my son might have learning issues.  Since my son was two, I have been taking him to speech therapy, volunteering at his school, teaching him on my own.  The teachers say he is one of the smartest kids in the class.  This guy has never even met the kids’ teachers or anything, but he slammed the phone when I said that he doesn’t know what he is talking about.

I wish he would just terminate his rights.  He doesn’t do anything except show my kids that he is a lazy, uneducated loser who still behaves as though he is in his early twenties.

I’m shocked that he is still the way he is.  This is the first time since 2004 that I have been in the same roof as him.  I thought that maybe time had made him mature, but I have realized that he is the same uncultured, uneducated guy I met when I was 21.

I hope he one day wakes up, or that he finds a strong woman who will help him with his disabilities.

The Dreaded Ex Strikes Again

6 October, 2008 | dcfemella | Comments

Yesterday, I tried going grocery shopping at Wegmans. It was horrible. There were tons of people there. It was to the point that you couldn’t move, so I decided to do Peapod. I haven’t done it since I was working in DC (never again), but now that I am super busy, I think it’s time to do it again. Here we are awaiting the arrival of the groceries. The kids did their homework, we are watching Monsterquest, and I am typing away. It doesn’t help that I am cleaning the oven, so it smells pretty gross in here. Yesterday, an entire apple pie landed at the bottom of the oven. It wasn’t very pretty, so now I have to sit here and smell the self cleaner. The kids keep asking when the groceries are coming, and all I can say is that they have til 9:30. Yawn. I’m probably being super patient because I went to my spin class today. I had to after dealing with my ex this entire weekend.

He had the kids this weekend, but the kids both had games. I told him to put Isabelle’s soccer outfit on while Cebastian raced. When I arrive, she is wearing this dirty outfit. I was so upset. I told him to go to the car and change her. After her crying, he finally got up and took her. My mother and cousin came, so I was glad to have other people there to talk to. We head to Wendys to eat lunch. He turns to me and says, “You are going to have to pay for their lunch because I don’t have any money.” It’s his weekend, and he didn’t think that the kids would need lunch? I paid for my kids’ foods. For a minute, i think he thought I was going to pay for his as well, but he was very wrong.

Yesterday, he says for us to meet at seven. I told him to make sure the kids eat dinner. When I arrive, they hadn’t eaten. I was so pissed, but I have realized there is no point of arguing with this guy. As always, the clothes the kids had on Friday are missing. I just said to him on Gmail if he could please ensure that he gives me back their clothes. He said ok, but I know better.

I think he tries to do the opposite of what I ask him on purpose. It’s like he thinks he is a man if he doesn’t do what I ask. I guess I will just start telling him the oppositeof what I want him to do. Maybe that will help.

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