I was thinking a lot about my past today. There were ups and downs, but I don’t regret any of it. I decided to karaoke my favorite songs from my early twenties that made me get through the tough times. Isabelle also sang a song that signifies to me that these children are my life.
How do you tell someone you miss him/her? Do you write that someone a letter? Email? Or do you call that person on the phone and profess how much you miss him/her? Do you lavish that person with gifts? Or do you prefer to send that person a homemade gift that is straight from the heart?
Missing a person is one of the hardest things that people can do. They always think about how that person is doing, how the person is, and always have that glimmer of hope that person will contact them. Whenever there is a chance that they are able to find out about that person, they will do anything possible to.
Usually though, all they have left are the memories that person has left behind. Maybe it’s their pride, that person’s pride, or fear of rejection that keep them from making any attempts to contact one another.
If I could contact the people I miss, I would say to them these simple words:
Let’s forget the past; forget the future; and let’s just make the present work.
Awhile ago, I posted the top ten songs, poems, and movies to hear and see when you are suffering from a broken heart. I’m starting to feel better about a lot of things. Accept everything that happened and realize that there are things that I am unable to control. All I can do is be strong, and continue trekking on. Life is too short to be so miserable. If I died tomorrow, would I really want my last days on Earth to be moping around aching for someone who never really cared much about me to begin with? No.
I created this Rhapsody playlist when I was enduring all that pain. Art in all forms can help you get through many hard parts in your life. They make you realize that there is someone out there who has gone through what you are going through, so you are not alone. Also, that you will be alright.
Here is the playlist that I created, which you are able to listen to by pressing the Play icon. I hope that it can probably help someone out there.
Goal setting is something that I think that every person should do in order to achieve their dreams. When I had my children, I really started to focus on ensuring that I reached my full potential. Why? I knew that anything that I did affected their future. Therefore, I created a five-year plan. My goal setting is a little extreme, but this is the only way I make sure I complete everything that I want to do:
I create a five-year plan that is broken down by six life categories: Emotional/Mental Health, Self Development, Family, Health, Money, and Career
I break this down further into yearly goals
I further break this down into monthly goals, which are my short-term goals
The best way for me to track the progress is by using 43Things, which I have been using for years. It is great because you are able to read other people’s progress, which really encourages to keep going. Additionally, you are able to write entries, so that you are able to share your story with others. One great feature is that it can integrate with your blog, so that you can share it with your blog readers as well. Below are my top-ten goals for May:
Do you have long-term and short-term goals? Do you have a way to track them?
Will a machine ever be invented that will erase memories that people want to get rid of? Or is it something that will stay in the minds of the creators of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?” I remember watching this movie and thinking that one should never want to erase any part of his/her life. Now I want someone to build that machine, so I can use it on myself.
I’m a person who usually will get back up in an hour and be able to go. I can’t with this. Hope is something that one should never lose, and I have lost it, utterly and completely. It doesn’t matter now. Life goes on, and I just have to accept the way things are. My head hurts, and I feel like I can barely walk without wincing in pain. I can’t eat, smile, or laugh. I don’t think I ever will.
I know that I am getting punished for something. Maybe something I have done in this life or a past life, but I am. I wish I knew what so I could bear this better. All I want is to erase all my memories since 2006. Anything that reminds me: songs, photos, movies, etc. All I know is that all I have left to live for are my children. Nothing more.
If anyone ever builds that machine, I will pay whatever amount to use it. For now, I want to disappear.