I can’t believe that the year (and I was reminded that also the decade) is almost over. It seems like I was in my early twenties just yesterday, which is how old I was when this decade began. I think back on all the things that I have gone through since 2000, and how much I have overcome, and I am proud of myself.
I’m now a 31-year old woman with two wonderful children, and have the career that I almost always wanted. I say almost because I still want to branch out on my own full-time. I’m healthier than ever, and I am also happier as well. For the first time in my life, I can say that I love all the people around me. There is also no drama in my life. Whenever someone asks me, “Hey, how’s it going?” It isn’t how it was before where I would go and explain all the stressful crap I was dealing with. Now? I just say, “Same ol’, same ol.” It feels amazing to just say that.
One of the things that I always do during the holidays is watch “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The movie shows that if you have your family, friends, and your life, you will always find a way to be alright. It’s something that I finally understood this year.
Another lesson I learned is that I shouldn’t compare myself to other people. Even if someone has something that I want, I shouldn’t envy her, or be sad that I don’t have it, I just have to make more of an effort for myself. Also, be happy for the things that I do have.
I am not a resolution-type of person. I usually have a five-year plan, and then I break them down to yearly goals, and then those to monthly goals. I made almost all of my 2009 yearly goals, and so I know that this time, I will make all of my 2010 ones.
Well, I shall return next year.
Everyone, have a good one, make some goals, and remember what’s important.
Yesterday, I ran the Army Ten-Miler, and I am so proud of myself. It was my first race, and I rant the entire ten miles. I didn’t run at the pace that I wanted, and I beat myself up for it. However, I woke up realizing that I am being silly. It’s not how fast or how slow I was going, but that I finished. It’s my competitive spirit that does this, and I sometimes wish that it would quiet down and let me enjoy the moment. Now that I completed the run, I feel that I can do anything.
There are some parts of my life that I am not 100% happy, and I have been putting off thinking about it because I have been so busy with work and the kids. However, I am going to start working on them. I don’t want to wake up at 50 and feeling that I have let life pass me by.
This weekend I am glad that I kept it low key. I thought a lot about my life and the direction that it’s going, and the direction that I want it to go. My dreams are being put on hold for materialistic reasons, and that is something that needs to change. Even if I am wearing a potato sack and eating macaroni-n-cheese every day, I will be happier following the things that I want.
I now know what I need to do, and I am going to do it.
I was thinking a lot about my past today. There were ups and downs, but I don’t regret any of it. I decided to karaoke my favorite songs from my early twenties that made me get through the tough times. Isabelle also sang a song that signifies to me that these children are my life.
How do you tell someone you miss him/her? Do you write that someone a letter? Email? Or do you call that person on the phone and profess how much you miss him/her? Do you lavish that person with gifts? Or do you prefer to send that person a homemade gift that is straight from the heart?
Missing a person is one of the hardest things that people can do. They always think about how that person is doing, how the person is, and always have that glimmer of hope that person will contact them. Whenever there is a chance that they are able to find out about that person, they will do anything possible to.
Usually though, all they have left are the memories that person has left behind. Maybe it’s their pride, that person’s pride, or fear of rejection that keep them from making any attempts to contact one another.
If I could contact the people I miss, I would say to them these simple words:
Let’s forget the past; forget the future; and let’s just make the present work.
Awhile ago, I posted the top ten songs, poems, and movies to hear and see when you are suffering from a broken heart. I’m starting to feel better about a lot of things. Accept everything that happened and realize that there are things that I am unable to control. All I can do is be strong, and continue trekking on. Life is too short to be so miserable. If I died tomorrow, would I really want my last days on Earth to be moping around aching for someone who never really cared much about me to begin with? No.
I created this Rhapsody playlist when I was enduring all that pain. Art in all forms can help you get through many hard parts in your life. They make you realize that there is someone out there who has gone through what you are going through, so you are not alone. Also, that you will be alright.
Here is the playlist that I created, which you are able to listen to by pressing the Play icon. I hope that it can probably help someone out there.
Only for the Brokenhearted
