I’ve been sleeping eight hours a night lately, and I must say that I feel a whole lot better. I’m not struggling to get up, I’m not yawning during the day, and I am smiling more. It really is true that you need a certain amount of sleep in order to feel better. Not everyone is the same. Some people only need six; others seven, but whatever that predetermined time is, you should make sure that you take it. I’ve noticed that people, who are depressed, on the Internet or workaholics, usually suffer from insomnia.
Last year, when I was severely depressed, I barely slept. From June til December, I was sleeping two hours or less. At first, it started affecting my mood. If you looked at me wrong, I was ready to take your head off. Then, I started getting debilitating headaches. From the time I woke til I went to sleep, I had to deal with excruciating migraines. In December, I dealt with severe blows in my life, and I started sleeping even less. While at a store, Isabelle jumped on my back, and I dealt with a month of not being able to walk cause my back felt as though it was going to break. Any other time, I would have been fine. However, because my body was shutting down, it couldn’t recover from it. It’s something that I never want to feel again.
I noticed that around Thanksgiving, I was sleeping less and less. The reason is that I remember how hard this time of year was for me last time, so I fear that it will happen again. However, I realized that I was fearing something that I would never allow to happen again. The mind is the most powerful part of a person, and it can help make things better or worse. I decided that this time, I want things to be better.
This year has been full of changes. In the beginning of the year, I was depressed, suffering from insomnia, and felt like I would never be happy. I decided to try and remain positive while writing my yearly vision statement because I knew that I had a fighting chance to be happy if I had a mantra.
Here is my 2009 Vision Statement that I created in January:
In 2009, I will work on my stress management and letting go of my past. Also, how I always think that the worst will occur. I will forgive all those who have wronged me and learn to not overthink things. I will lose 20 pounds and start getting some willpower. I will have a regular sleep schedule and start taking care of my physical and emotional health. The kids will be healthy in all aspects. I will start being more adventurous and not be dependent of others. My money management will be stable. I will also launch my own business where I will one day be self employed and not need a day job.
One of the things that I did was create yearly goals under each of my life categories:
Emotional/Mental
Self Development
Health
Family
Fun
Money
Career
I then created monthly short-term goals to fulfill those goals. It worked! I am 100% happier than I was when I started the year. I look at this vision statement, and I have fulfilled the more important parts of it. My emotional health is amazing. I have never been happier. Yes, there are still things that I have to work on, but for the most part, I can’t complain. I am not being the overanalyzing, negative person who used to never smile. People see that as well. Before, people used to stay clear away from me, and say that I was intimidating. No longer. I always have people around now. I also smile all the time.
I do want to make some revisions to my vision statement because I am never going to lose 20 pounds without looking sickly, and I want to talk more about my children.
Revised 2009 Vision Statement:
In 2009, I will work on not falling back into bad habits. I will continue remaining positive and not dealing with negativity. Also, I will not worry about what others think of me, and I will make the best decisions for me. The only other people I will think about when making life decisions are my children. I will focus on teaching them other languages and letting go of their shyness. The kids will be healthy in all aspects. I will continue focusing on my being successful in my freelance writing business. Most important thing is to enjoy my life, and not have any regrets.
December has definitely started off with a bang. I wish that I could say in a good kind of way, but unfortunately, I can’t. First, I found out that people very close to my heart might need major operations for one thing or the other. I’m trying to remain positive, but being a person who usually sees the glass as half empty, it’s been really hard. If one of these people were to take a turn for the worse, I would be devastated. Let’s hope it doesn’t lead to hospital stays and that they fully recover.
Secondly, there is a huge water hole on my ceiling in the kitchen because of the renovations going on in the upstairs condo. The lady who lives there and I have already gotten into a heated spat, so I really hate that I have to deal with her again. I hope that the Contractor remains as nice and willing to help to fix the damage as he has been, or else the bitch in me is coming out. Tomorrow, I will have to call my condo association. Grr…..
The insomnia is still there. I have huge black circles under my eyes that keep getting progressively worse. It’s gotten to the point where the black circles are now bulging out. I need to call my doctor so she can up my sleeping pill dose to the point that it can knock down a horse.
The only good news is the coming of Christmas and the wonderful movies, songs, and events that occur in this wondrous time. I decorated my tree, and I am now buying everyone’s gifts. Here are some pics:
The kids’ sport season is almost over, and in a way, I’m happy. It has been constant running around here or there, and I can finally relax, even if it’s only for two months. I’m sitting here watching “The Curse of the Living Corpse,” and I don’t want to do anything but do nothing at home. I’ve been suffering from horrible insomnia. Yesterday I woke up at 4:30 in the morning, and I still wasn’t able to fall asleep at 4:00 a.m. today. Grover had to give me sleeping pills, so I could at least sleep. I didn’t wake up til 2:15 p.m., and that was forcing myself to wake up. I’m exhausted so no going anywhere.
Halloween night was fun. The kids got tons of candy in my aunt’s neighborhood. It’s like they are still stuck in the 80’s, so the majority of the people still give out candy, and there are tons of kids. They went home with their father, and I went to Grover’s. We played Scrabble cause he says he is the Scrabble King. Last weekend, he beat me. I beat him during the week, and I beat him again. He felt pretty silly. I think it was that he challenged my word “hived,” and was wrong. After that, we were hungry so we headed to Silver Diner.
Everyone and their mom was there with their costumes on. The girls in front of us and us were laughing at this guy macking on this girl. The girls and I were perturbed because the girl was allowing the guy to feel her leg as though he had known her forever.
One of the girls said what I was thinking, “If a guy ever felt me up like that, I would break his arm.”
I hope that everyone had a wonderful Halloween, and that they are still eating candy. =)
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