Posts tagged ‘insects’

Fear Is the Mind Killer….Bugs Are Infesting My Mind Then

“Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.”

-Michael Pritchard


I have a paralyzing fear of bugs.  It doesn’t matter how small the bug is, I still can’t move.  The fear is so bad that I start crying and screaming if one comes too close to my perimeter.  I wonder when this started happening.  Was it when a grasshopper fell on my head when I was a little girl living in Panama? Or was it when the cicadas infested DC and one landed on my back?  Or was it the crazy amounts of bugs that always seem to want to come near me?  All I know is that it’s a fear that I need to overcome because it’s getting to the point of embarrassment.

Two examples:

First: A few weeks ago, I was walking in DC with my friend.  A couple, which included a man who looked like he could scare his own mother, was approaching us.  When all of a sudden I peered down and saw roaches all over the place.  I began screaming and jumping like a crazy woman.  The man jumped, scared at me like I was insane, and they crossed the street to get away from me.  It was funny that here I was afraid of him when they were coming towards us, but in the end, my insane phobia made him be frightened of me.

Second:Just now, a house centipede started crawling towards my room while he was in the shower.  Isabelle and I were paralyzed and couldn’t move.  We waited ten minutes until he got out of the shower and had him kill the bug.   Cebastian is my protector against all the bugs in the world.  One time I was driving, and he said, “Ummm…Mommy?”

“Yes Cebastian?”

“Oh..uh…I’ll wait til you stop the car.”

A few minutes later, we were at my parents’ house.  I turn to him.

“What is it?”

“Get out of car first.”

I never heard him sound so serious, so I did what he told me.  The next thing I know, he smacks a big bug that was right on top of the driver’s seat.  I almost fainted.

What should I do to get over this fear?  I am even considering hypnosis because it is debilitating. I just want to be able to realize that the bugs are way smaller and are more afraid of me.  I know this, but it doesn’t help when I see one coming over to me.  I could swear that their little beady, little eyes are looking at me like “Oh you better not step.”

What’s Your Poison?

9 September, 2008 | dcfemella | Comments

I have always been deathly afraid of bugs. It all started at the age of four when I was visiting my grandparents’ house. We lived in Panama, and in those times, there was no concept of air conditioning. The weather in Panama can reach up to 100 degrees, so people would leave their doors opens and ceiling fans turned up high to keep the house livable. Due to this, creepy crawlies would sneak into the house.

I remember that fateful day I was sitting on the toilet when I saw something scurry by. The fear of being alone in a small room with a grotesque, dark creature freaked me out so bad that I began screaming at the top of my lungs. My mother came in and tried to console me. She had to spank me in order for me to stop the high-pitch wails that were coming out of my mouth. Till that day, I can’t see a bug without going crazy. It’s a phobia that I hate because there are insects everywhere, and for some reason, they are deeply attracted to me.

After a bug landed in my hair for the 10,000 times, I decided to do some research. It seems that some people give out a sweeter scent than others that attract bugs. In another instance, I would have felt great, but knowing that I am not attracting the group that I want to is not exhilarating.

This morning, the kids and I were already running late. I make them breakfast and head to take a shower. My plans were thwarted by a brown spot on the ceiling. A closer inspection made me realize that it was a house centipede. I was in a trance and couldn’t stop staring at it. My son Cebastian came in and started talking to me, but he realized that I wasn’t paying attention. His gaze went up to the ceiling, and he said, “Mommy, it’s a bug! I’ll get it.”

He grabbed his shoe, and I turned the fan on because those centipedes hate the cool air. It did the trick, and the bug ran down the wall. After 15 minutes of trying to kill the bug, Cebastian finally got it. I’m weird, but I felt sad. I am afraid of them, but I don’t want to kill them. If it weren’t for the fact that I wasn’t so freaked of them, I would have tried to have him throw it outside.

I’m glad that my son hasn’t turned out like me. He is brave and is ready to do anything. I haven’t seen that he has any of the phobias I have, and I am glad. My daughter Isabelle is deathly afraid of bugs as well, and I always thank my sister Kristine for that. One day she was babysitting them, and she saw a spider in the car. Her phobia is spiders. She watched “Arachnophobia” one too many times. She started screaming and panicking. Her fear made my daughter fearful of insects. I always thank her for that. At least we both have Cebastian, our knight in shining armor and a shining shoe.

 

house centipede

house centipede

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