I decided that the kids (and the adults) in my family have way too many things. They all seem to have iPods, gaming systems, TVs, and anything imaginable. My kids are definitely in the mix (excluding the iPods). Back in the day, I could manage to buy everyone Christmas presents. It was just my immediate family (i.e. parents and sisters) and one aunt. We have now grown to:

1. Kids
2. Parents
3. Sisters
4. Two nephews
5. Niece
6. Three cousins
7. Two aunts

One of my nephews and niece are my godchildren, so imagine how much I have to spend. Last year, I finally put my foot down and said that I was going to buy for the kids, but the adults had to do a Secret Santa. It helped to alleviate some of the financial burden that Christmas brings.

This year I tried doing the same, except adding the kids in the mix. I proposed that instead of all the adults individually buying the kids presents, we pitch our money to buy them one, big gift that they will use more than once. My older sister agreed, and we made plans on how to carry out the plan. However, there was one person who was dead set against it: my mom. Without her being part of the plans, it fell apart.

Her excuse is that this is her last Christmas before she goes to Panama, so she wants to go all out. My question to her was, “So does that mean that we all have to resort to doing the same?”

I decided that for my children, I am going to get them one, big gift (Playstation 3 Bundle I got on Black Friday), a book each, clothes (my kids love clothes), and one toy. For the rest of the family, I decided to take advantage of Cyber Mondays and got great deals on their stuff.

I am mad at myself cause I didn’t stick to my guns. I should have said no, but it seemed like there was no point cause my sister caved as well. These kids are now going to get a bunch of stuff on Christmas that they are not going to appreciate. They will use it once and then leave it lying around. I am the one that has to drag all that unwanted stuff to charity.

Definitely for next year, I have to come up with a better approach.  I remember being happy with two or three presents.  Months later, you will still see me using my Christmas presents.  I need to start teaching my children that Christmas is for being with your loved ones, and not what presents you get.

The Three Kings come tonight, so I have already placed chocolates, candies, and a few small stuffers in the kids’ stockings.  The holiday season is officially over tomorrow, and I’m sad.  No more Christmas tree, stockings, and all the holiday decorations that go with it.  =( 

I love that I am Latina because we get an extended holiday compared to other cultures.  During this time, I miss being in Panama with all of my family.  The holidays are a much more festive time over there because you seem to focus more on family and the community surrounding you.  Additionally, we (children and adults) party the entire holidays.

My children are spoiled.  When I was growing up, we used a worn-out sock to hang for the Three Kings (Reyes Magos) to put candy in.  During Christmas, we only got one or two presents a piece.  Why was I happier?  Every house had their doors opened, and the family went from party to party celebrating the holidays.  It’s so solitary here, and I miss the sense of community that we had in Panama.

Don’t get me wrong.  The holidays are nice here too, but it’s a quieter celebration and filled with teaching children the joys of consumerism.  I am guilty of it as well, but now that I am thinking, maybe it’s time that this changes.

Feliz Dia de Los Reyes Magos!

Two people drifting apart is a way of life.  Maybe they both started off on the same level, but then one was left behind.  This is what happened with my ex (father of my kids) and me.  While I am extremely ambitious, focused on my children, and have a hunger for learning, he is the total opposite.  I got my college degree while I was about to pop with both kids with no help from him, even though we were living together.  I dropped the kids off at my parents so I could go to school.  He doesn’t see the kids but four days out of the month, and he has not gone back to school.  He asked for my help once, and I gave him all this information.  Nothing.

I didn’t realize how much this guy was jealous of me and my achievements until he came for Christmas Eve.

The entire time he was at my condo, he was sizing it up.  Additionally, he kept criticizing everything.

• “The litter box should be some place else”
• “Your kitchen floors are not right”
• “Your bathroom toilet is running”
• “I think your refrigerator is broken”

I ignored him because I realized it was just jealousy that I bought my own place in Fairfax, while he has a house that is falling apart in Fredericksburg.

He spent the entire time on his laptop, which made me wonder why he even bothered to show up.  Instead of researching to find a good college or something to that extent, he was playing a Vampire game on Myspace.  Hello!  Myspace was sooooo 2007.

He bitched about taking out the trash for me; helping me hook up the Wii; and anything under the sun.

He lacks the culture that a 32-year old man should have.  He didn’t know what proscioutto was; kept asking what this and that was when I got Cheesecake Factory appetizers; and looked awkward holding a glass of good, red wine.

I noticed all of this and wondered how I ever was involved with such a uncultured, lazy man.  I think he realized that he was outclassed because he didn’t even spend Christmas with his kids.

He is now upset because of this, so he has resorted to being the dick he usually is.

1. He is refusing to sign the passport form, so I can get the kids’ passport for Panama, so I might have to cancel the trip.  =(
2. He was calling every day to talk to his kids for a month cause we were getting along.  Now?  He is back to his old ways.  He didn’t even call the kids to wish them a happy new years.
3. He called me two days after Christmas Even to say that my son might have learning issues.  Since my son was two, I have been taking him to speech therapy, volunteering at his school, teaching him on my own.  The teachers say he is one of the smartest kids in the class.  This guy has never even met the kids’ teachers or anything, but he slammed the phone when I said that he doesn’t know what he is talking about.

I wish he would just terminate his rights.  He doesn’t do anything except show my kids that he is a lazy, uneducated loser who still behaves as though he is in his early twenties.

I’m shocked that he is still the way he is.  This is the first time since 2004 that I have been in the same roof as him.  I thought that maybe time had made him mature, but I have realized that he is the same uncultured, uneducated guy I met when I was 21.

I hope he one day wakes up, or that he finds a strong woman who will help him with his disabilities.

Christmas tree cake

Originally uploaded by cakejournal

I hope that everyone is able to celebrate this wonderful day with family and friends.