DC Femella

I woke up on Monday, and I was extremeley happy.  Life seems way too perfect for words.  All the pieces are starting to fall into place, and I have no more drama.  I think that out of all the things that I am getting for Christmas, peace and happiness are the best gifts that I could have received.  

1. Family - I am finally getting along with all of my family members.  It also helps that I have two of the cutest, greatest kids who I could have ever asked for.  My mom irritated me with her “I’m not watching the kids,” but then I found out her reasoning, and I understood.  My little sis is coming in January or February for a month, so I get to have one of my favorite people ever around during the cold, dreary days.
2. Friends - My friends are the best.  After spending the night at Dawne’s house that one night, I feel totally inspired.  She really opened up my eyes about a lot of things, and I can’t thank her enough.  Another thing I realized is that we are way too alike.  What’s up with that?  I also have my friends Bridget and Tanya who gave me great advice when all the Laura drama was going on.  This weekend I am suppose to hang out with Dawne and Shauna, and I can’t wait.  I am going to take tons of pictures with my new camera.  
3. New Friends - I have met some great people this year who I hope I can get to know more.  Bernadette and Heather are so sweet, and I hope that I can become closer to them.  Heather and I are suppose to head to the movies this weekend.  I hope she doesn’t think I am such a movie snob.  
4. Love Life - TBD
5. Trips - LA, Italy, and Panama are all coming up, and I am more than ready to venture out.  I might have to go to LA twice next year, so I can go when Tanya can.  Bridget, her, and I are going to drive to Las Vegas.  I love traveling, especially with people who know how to have a good time.  
6. Career - My career is going great, and my freelance writing is picking up.  I hope that in the next two years to turn that into a full-time gig.
7. Health - I love my body now.  It’s so strong and muscular.  I wish my stomach was a little tighter, but oh well, I can deal.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful holidays and that you think about the great things in your life, and the not the bad.

I’m so in love that I can’t think about anything else, but that feeling. It’s exhilarating feeling that you almost have everything you’ve always wanted: the man of my dreams, my children, great career, amazing health, wonderful friends, and happy. I haven’t been happy for a very long time, so I am feeling kind of weird about it. It feels too good to be true, and I’m afraid that in an instant, I am going to lose it all. Happiness is a feeling that everyone covets, and I finally have it.

My past relationship wasn’t the best. The person was constantly cheating, lying, BREAKING MY SHIT, and a drama starter. My drama-free life was all of a sudden consumed with it when I was with this person. I feel bad because after Eric, I vowed never to allow myself to get into a horrible relationship where there was a lack of respect and honesty. Lo and behold, I was in one again.  Everyone who met this person told me there was something wanting in this person’s eyes. I still care for this person, but I know it’s for the best.

Grover has always been my sanity throughout all of it. He would listen to me and give me the best advice.  Every time we stopped speaking, I felt sad and lost. I secretly cried because I didn’t have him in my life.  The last time we stopped speaking, I became a total hermit because I didn’t care about anything, but the kids.  I tried to start dating a few times, but they never compared to him.  Now, I have him completely in my life. Even if we don’t last as a couple, I know we will last as friends.

He told me that whenever I smile at him, he feels like he loses all reason.  He said that he smiles more when I’m around.  Also, that he wants to be with me the rest of our lives.  We are planning a trip in January, so I am excited for that.  I wanted to go skydiving this month, but he wants to wait til the weather gets better cause he knows I hate the cold.   I wanted to because I want to get rid of my fear of heights, and also I want to do it so I can feel like I finally have wings.

I’ve always felt like Marianne in “Sense and Sensibility” with Willoughby. I now feel like Marianne and Willoughby have been given a second chance through us.  This video is Marianne reciting Shakespeare Sonnet 116.  It describes how ideal love should be.  I use to watch this scene and cry cause I had lost that, but now I found it again.

I have started the dreaded task of dating.  Dating is something that I am not super fond of.  I haven’t been in a serious relationship with a man since 2005, so I am not sure how I will do in one now.  Nevertheless, I do want to get married and have two more children one day, so I guess it’s time that I venture out there.  The kids are ready for me to find someone as well because they keep talking about having a new baby sister or brother one day. 

I decided to try Yahoo! Personals after failing miserably with Match.  Match seems to be more for people that do not have children and don’t want to date anyone who has any.  I am not angry because everyone has their preference, and I want to find someone who is comfortable being around children.  One of my best friends found her fiancé on Yahoo!, so I took her advice and decided to give it a chance.  Yahoo! seems a better fit.  Thanks Dawne!

Right now there are three guys: a Scientist, a Lawyer, and a TV Producer. 

Scientist – He is the only one that I have met so far.  He is in his early 30’s, used to be a teacher and coach, adores his dog, and is very intelligent.  I think he is great (so far).  We’ll see what happens on the second date.  We are supposed to go to a Greek restaurant, so I am pretty excited.

Lawyer – Meeting him for lunch tomorrow.  He seems really sweet, good looking, own practice, smart, and funny.  However, he is ready to get married and have children, and I worry that he will just commit to anyone.  Another thing is that he is only 5’9.  Being a taller than average women who loves her heels, I wonder if he will be too short for me.

TV Producer – We talk all the time, and he is the one that I like most of all.  Cute, funny, English major, laid back, and cool.  He is all a Producer for Animal Planet and Discovery Channel, which are two of my children and I favorite channels.  However, he lives in MD (I hate MD!), and he is legally separated.  I usually would run the other way, but he said that in MD they can’t get divorced until they have been legally separated for a year.  It’s something I know from my older sister.  However, not even a year separated and already on the playing field?

I hate dating.  If someone knows how to work a crystal ball, please let me know.

I’m reading “The Good Earth” again. The first time I read it, I didn’t pay as much attention as I should have because his voice is kind of easy to get swayed into thinking about other things. I’m listening and reading it now. I found a copy on Scribd, awesome site. Tolle says something that I have been doing. Lately, all I do is talk about what is lacking in my life, but I need to focus on what is already good in it.

These are the things that I am happy about:

1. Children
2. Family
3. Physical Appearance (for the most part)
4. Health
5. Personality
6. Stable Job
7. Direction
8. Home for my children
9. Almost debt free

Think about that. What makes you happy? Forget about what is lacking for once.