Am I Raising Bart Simpson?10.08.08

I received the call a parent dreads…..the Principal.  After speaking with her, it seems that Cebastian, who told me he was finally behaving, hasn’t been.  I wish it would have happened before my spin class because I was more frustrated than ever.  She was very pleasant and said that Cebastian seemed to understand what he did wrong.  I had to smile at that because she doesn’t know how strong-willed Cebastian can be.  She said not to punish him because she had already spoken with him.  Maybe she heard it in my voice that I was not going to let this fly quietly.

While Isabelle practiced soccer, he sat next to me dreamingly staring at the playground.  When we got home, he did his homework, read, and went to his room.  I got an email from the teacher, and it took me 30 minutes to respond.  

My ex says that I am too strict on the kids, and so when they go to school, they misbehave.  It makes me wonder.  Am I too harsh on the kids?  I mean, this is coming from the guy who only sees them four days out of the month, and barely calls or is involved more than he has to be.  I still had to wonder if I am.  

I watch “Nanny 911″ and “Supernanny.”  I also read tons of parenting books.  How can I control what he does in school if he behaves one way at home and another at school?  I will try though.  

I already let him know that a. I will have lunch with him every day until he starts behaving and b. He will not open his presents until he behaves for a week straight. 

Too harsh?  Maybe, but he will have to deal with it.

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If We Don’t Change, We Don’t Grow07.28.08

My ex drives me insane. Yesterday, he never arrived at the location where he is suppose to return the children back to me, and never contacted me to notify me that he was running late. I’m slightly, maybe more than slightly, neurotic, so I began panicking. All these scenarios start running through head: car accident, emergency room, etc.

He doesn’t return any of my phone calls until an hour and a half later. His excuse? He overslept. Overslept? What?! I don’t take this very well, and begin screaming at him. He promptly hangs up. I call back again to let him know that now he will have to drive to my house to drop the kids off, which is an hour away from him. He informs me that I will meet him at the drop-off location. It’s my turn to hang-up.

Side story: I think I was more on edge because of the location that I chose for the “exchange.” I decided to meet him at a Shell gas station near where I use to live. I parked in a location where I wouldn’t bother anyone, but I was wrong. I waited for half an hour for this idiot, and I was flabbergasted at the amount of people that went to the restroom while I was waiting there. They looked me annoyed that I was in their ways, so much for not getting in the way.

Who uses the gas station restroom unless it’s totally necessary! I remember the one or two times that I was forced to use the gas station restroom, when I was younger and was traveling with my parents, I was disgusted. It might be the reason for my disdain of using public restrooms. There were Virginia plates using this bathroom. I counted, and 15 people used it while I was there. I can understand a Wawa restroom because it’s inside the store and they really clean it, but an outside gas station restroom? I was grossed out.

Back to the real story: He doesn’t arrive at my house until ten at night. I do not want him in my house because when I lived in these apartments, he would storm in and start checking every room. When I went outside, I notice he was acting nervous. I see my son Cebastian, but I don’t see my daughter Isabelle. I ask him where she is, and he answers that she is in the car. I begin walking over there, and he quickly stops me.

“I’ll get her.”

I was baffled, but I stopped in my tracks. I quickly realized why. I see someone who continues to stretch her neck like an ostrich to check me out. I figure that it’s the girlfriend. I realized at that moment that this guy hasn’t changed his cheating ways. He was just talking to my mother on Friday that he had broken up with this girl a month ago, and now he is dating a 22-year old girl who works with him. I feel sorry for her, but I am also relieved that I do not have to deal with this idiot. Another reason I am so irritated is because she is a single mother. As a single mother, I think it’s disgusting that he is playing with this girl’s heart when he knows that her son is very close to the children and him.

I grab my kids, and tell him that an email is awaiting his response when he gets home. The kids start their weird behavior. Every time they return from his house, they behave like total recluse. They don’t speak, they are extra clingy, and start behaving like the kids on Nanny 911. It takes me a day to de-program everything they learn at their father’s house. I can tell that he lets them run wild. I have read too many books and seen tons of SuperNanny and Nanny 911 to have children who behave like children with no structure.

This morning my son threw a fit because he left something in my car. A six-year old boy begins throwing a tantrum like a two-year old. I spanked him (yes, I believe in spanking), and put him in his room. Ten minutes later he resurfaces acting like his normal self. I am thankful that I only have to deal with this guy for four days out of the month. Exhausting.

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