DC Femella

This past week has been hell, but I guess I have finally hit the bottom.  I now feel 65% better.  I do not have the sad feelings that I had before.  I have promised myself that I am no longer going to have my happiness in someone else’s hands.  If I need to be more detached, then so be it because I do not want to feel the way I felt.  It felt like I was going to faint at any second, and I didn’t recognize myself.  L. and I talked, and I think we reached a breakthrough.  We’ll see how long it lasts.  I just know that I can’t put myself through this again.  I won’t allow it.

Now I’m listening to Abba and getting ready to heat up the enchiladas I made last night.

Stress is killing me. I don’t know how to let things go, or let go of people who are bad for me. I feel pathetic saying this, but I have started taking antidepressant medicine because I cant’ seem to want to get out of bed anymore.

Yesterday was horrible. L. confessed about something that happened with this guy she was dating. I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I could because I had my suspicions. She is self sabotaging, and I don’t know if I have the energy to help her anymore. She hurts herself because I think she doesn’t think she deserve happiness, and she hurts others in the process. She is constantly  hurting me, and I think that this might be the last time I forgive her.  I really don’t know what to do anymore. Crazy doesn’t even describe me right now.