Nothing de-stresses me more than sitting down and watching my kids play and explore. I smile at their innocence and ability to use their imagination to play for hours even if they are just jumping on a rock.

Since they were toddlers, we would take walks in the woods, and I would pretend that I saw the magical creatures in movies, like “Princess Mononoke.” Watching them makes me realize there is still something about this life that is still worth it.

It’s been a rough year but by just watching my children play, I know that I will one day know happiness again.

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Isabelle, Ethan, and Cebastian

Originally uploaded by dreamingindc

Super short video of the kids. In a second, these kids will be teenagers.

Awhile ago, I wrote about Isabelle having some difficulty with reading. I placed her in a tutoring program that was going to work with her teacher to get her caught up.

She has been going for a couple of months now, and I am amazed how much her reading has improved. Before, she had no confidence in reading anything. She would start whimpering that she didn’t know how to read. Also, her writing also suffered because she didn’t know how to spell what she was writing.

Now, she loves to read. She always asks if we can sit down and read. When she is reading, she can read sentences without stopping. In the past, we would struggle in putting more than three words together.  I am so proud of her.  One thing that this has taught me is to never give up, and teach your kids to not do the same.  Even if it’s hard, you will eventually get it, so keep on trying.

Also, money isn’t everything.  When you die, you don’t take it with you.  I’m glad that I paid for the tutoring even if I didn’t get any help from anyone else.  In the end, it doesn’t matter how much it cost, but that my daughter has the love for reading and books that I’ve always wanted my children to have.

This year, I have been cooking more than I have in years.  For some reason, I had gotten lazy, and so the kids and I had been eating out way too much.  It got to the point that they wouldn’t touch food unless it was made from a restaurant.  Last week, I made this Shepherd’s Pie with potatoes and sweet potatoes. I got it out of this book, Healthy Cooking for Your Kids.  It has great recipes that help you make yummy food that your kids will actually eat.  It worked! My kids couldn’t stop eating it.

After that, I decided that I wanted to create this Coconut Chicken that I saw in my The South Beach Diet book.  It didn’t stop there.  I wanted to continue cooking, so I made two Spinach and Mushroom quiches, one for tomorrow and one for later.  It makes me feel good when I cook.  I am taking different ingredients, and using my hand to create something that others will savor.  It’s something that I love to do.

Cooking and food is a way to bond families. If you talk to people, you will usually get a story about how a certain recipe reminds them of a beautiful memory that they had with their family.  It’s one of the other reasons that I love food so much.  It’s something that I want to pass my love for cooking on to my  kids.  Whenever they have a chance, I have them in the kitchen with me stirring something on the oven (while I supervise, of course).

What food makes you think about family?

Awhile ago, I spoke about how my daughter Isabelle was not doing very well in school.  I’ve tried everything that you can think of: flash cards, workbooks, extra time reading, doing extra homework, etc., and I still see that she is behind.  When we read a word, and we see it in the next sentence, she freezes and doesn’t remember what it is.  It became more apparent when we started the Odyssey of the Mind team meetings.  Two boys on the team are both in first grade, and they are reading on a higher level than her.  I started to worry.  I finally knew that it was time to act when she got her second report card, and had a lot of Needs Improvements.  I spoke to my family about it, and my sister said that she went to the Sylvan Learning Center when my nephew was having issues with reading.  I made an appointment that day.

We went to the assessment this past Saturday, and went yesterday for the results. As I expected, she was found to be reading lower than her expected reading level. They said that she had no issues with reading comprehension, but that her reading needed to catch up. Therefore, I worked with them to tailor a program, so that by the time first grade is over, she will be ready for second grade.

It is a little expensive, but when I read how much private tutors are, I realized it was comparable to hiring someone who would come to my house. Also, detecting and fixing the problem early will be better than waiting til she is in sixth grade, and reading at a third-grade level. I was a girl once, and I know how hard it can be. If I can make it easier for her, then I will do anything I can.

That’s the thing about being a parent. You want your children to have it better than you did, and it doesn’t how much it’s going to cost. It is especially hard when you are living in an area where everything is so competitive. Parents shuffle their kids to 3-4 extracurricular activities, while holding full-time jobs. The kids are expected to be the best, and their schoolmates even pay attention to their progress. Money isn’t a problem, so the parents spend whatever it takes, so their kids have a higher chance of success later on in life. It’s something that my ex doesn’t understand because he has never really been a father.

Even though people tell me what is the point of keeping him abreast of what is going on with the kids, I still try. I am hoping that one day he will wake up, and be the father that the children need (and want). I called to see if he would contribute to her tutoring. He said that I need to try and work with her more with workbooks and flash cards, and that is too much money to spend. The old me would have started ranting and yelling. I would have told him that it’s easy for him, who barely sees the children, to tell me to help her more at home because he doesn’t have to do it himself. I would have continued on saying that he can go on all these trips and events with his friends, but as always, when it comes to his kids, he starts coming up with a 1,000 excuses why there is no point to pay the money. It’s easy for someone who has barely paid for a birthday party, their extracurricular activities, or anything extra for the kids to tell me what needs to be done.

The older and “wiser” me just said that it’s fine if he doesn’t want to pitch in, and that I will deal with the tutoring expenses on my own. I left it at that. It felt good not to start this tug-of-war with him on something that he will never get. My family is right. When the kids get older, they will realize how much their mother has done for them, while their father hasn’t contributed to much of anything. I am glad that I am getting her this help. I already see how sad she got when Cebastian was jumping with joy on getting all these Oustandings and Goods on his report card, while she only got Satisfactory and Needs Improvement. By the time second grade starts, Isabelle will be reading way beyond her reading level, and she will not feel as though she is nothing less than what she is really is. A super smart kid.