It seems as though lately everyone wants to remind me that I’m still single. They act like being 31 and single is a horrible thing, and so they are constantly bringing up my relationship status. It started around 30. People would look at me with sympathetic eyes and feel sorry for the single mother who couldn’t find a decent guy. I remember going to a party with my parents, and all of their friends were asking me the same questions.
“Are you married?”
“You don’t have a boyfriend?”
“You better start dating before the train leaves you behind.”
I wanted to run out of there as fast as possible, and I could see that my mother was getting annoyed as well. Later on she would say, “Shevonne, you’re happy, so that’s all that matters.”
There is a saying in Panama that goes “Es mejor esta sola que mala acompanada.” Translation is “it’s better to be single than be in bad company.”
So what if I’m single? I already did the whole bad relationship fiasco because I thought it was better to be with someone. Let me say this. You feel more alone when you are constantly battling with someone, who isn’t putting into the relationship as much as you are. I constantly felt as though I was in a dark, wet cave drowning in my tears.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. It’s hard to date in a metropolitan area. People seem to have more of a selfish, ADHD personality. They don’t seem to want to invest the time and effort needed to have a good relationship. Add the White Rabbit mentality that runs rampant here. “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.” It’s usually work. All people seem to do here is work. One great example is when I was doing eHarmony. A guy closed the match because he lived in DC and I lived in VA, and the distance was too far. I laughed. I only live 20-30 minutes from DC, depending on the location. It’s even harder for me than other single women because I have children.
I wish that I could just tell people to leave me alone about it. I’m happy being single. Yes, there are times that I feel a bout of loneliness and wish that I had someone enjoying life with me. However, I’m not going to push it.
For now, I will enjoy having a crush. I sometimes prefer having a crush than actually dating someone. You feel like a school-aged girl creating this entire life with someone you barely know. There are no complications or worries that he won’t like you because he doesn’t even know you are crushing on him. You smile because you are his secret admirer, and he has no clue. A crush is great, and everyone should have one.
People, leave me alone about being single. I’m super happy right now. I have my family, including my children. They drive me insane sometimes, but I have my companions. I’m lucky to have found such wonderful friend who are constantly doing awesome stuff, and I get to reap the rewards. I love how passionate I am about many things, and I have met some wonderful people while doing them. Who knows? I might end up alone. Maybe I will find a guy who thinks I am as awesome as I think I am. In other words, let it rest.
Photo Detail: red shoe diary, originally uploaded by The_bosshog.
When I had Cebastian, she was the one who went with my to my OB/GYN appointments, birthing classes, and was there with me every step during labor. She even took care of Cebastian for eight months. We think the same, even though we have drastically different personalities.
