I subscribe to Audible, and I had two credits to use.  “Thirteen Reasons Why” was one of the books that I chose.  I’ve had it in my queue for awhile, but I knew it was time to listen/read it after reading the book description from Amazon:

“When Clay Jenson plays the cassette tapes he received in a mysterious package, he’s surprised to hear the voice of dead classmate Hannah Baker. He’s one of 13 people who receive Hannah’s story, which details the circumstances that led to her suicide. Clay spends the rest of the day and long into the night listening to Hannah’s voice and going to the locations she wants him to visit. The text alternates, sometimes quickly, between Hannah’s voice (italicized) and Clay’s thoughts as he listens to her words, which illuminate betrayals and secrets that demonstrate the consequences of even small actions. Hannah, herself, is not free from guilt, her own inaction having played a part in an accidental auto death and a rape. The message about how we treat one another, although sometimes heavy, makes for compelling reading.”

It made me think that when someone dies tragically (even if it isn’t suicide) or is severely depressed, and it isn’t due to a nature or murder, there are things that lead up to it getting worse and worse.  People’s actions (or inaction) causes that person to fall into a hole so deep that any attempt to try to dig themselves out is of no avail.  Even when they feel they have made even the tiniest success in getting better, someone or something comes to push them right back down.  They can’t even face themselves in the mirror because all they see looking back at them is a broken reflection staring right back at them.

This is a book that should be read in middle schools and high schools around the world. There are so  many times that people see someone who is suffering, and don’t do anything about it.  Be it cause they are afraid about what others will think, or because of their own selfishness, they allow that person to slip away.  Maybe if people learn early enough, people can be saved from themselves.

It’s exactly what happened to my sister.  She didn’t commit suicide like Hannah, but every day, someone was there to make her world crumble even more around her.  After coming back from war, where she saw things that no human should ever have to see, and she was denied the right to be with her family, she had to go back to a place where all she found was people who were trying to sabotage her out of jealousy, guys trying to constantly take advantage of her, and so-called friends who abandoned her at the first sight of trouble. I hope that those people wake up every day, and feel the guilt and pain that they caused my sister. I really do.

She didn’t have her family with her to help and protect her.  Yes, we tried. Talking to her every day via chat, webcam, phone, but it wasn’t the same as us being there to fend off these vicious people who hide behind their masks. Yes, masks! All she wanted was for someone to help her, and all they did was attack. It seems like things in the book just don’t happen in school.  People continue this behavior even years later.  In the military, it seems to run rampant.

After reading this book, and constantly feeling like my heart was going to rip at any moment, I realize that I have to do what I plan.  I do not want someone else suffering the way Hannah, my sister, and so many others have.

It’s definitely a book that everyone should read, even if only once.

When you do something nice for someone or give a gift, do you expect something in return?  Do you constantly remind the person of all the things that you have done for them?  It’s something that I never understood about some people.  They are always having to exclaim, “But I did this for you.”

It’s something that used to drive my sister and me wild.  Someone would do something for you.  However, she would be extremely mean, always put you down, and make your life a living hell.  When you got upset, she always rebutted with, “But I did that for you that one time, so you should be a little grateful.” It never stops.  The constant reminders.  I don’t know how people can live that way.  Shouldn’t they be content with the “thank you” they receive?  Do they think that one nice thing makes up for the 1,000 bad things that they are going to do or have done?

My sister Kristine volunteered and helped so many people.  Whenever you would tell her that she is doing such wonderful things, she would get flustered and say, “Oh stop, I do it cause I want to help people.”  I wish that some people would learn from that.  Even after her death, someone is constantly reminding us that she once gave Kristine a van. I remember Kristine talking about that once.  She said, “She always has to remind me that she did me this favor.  It’s like she is gloating that she has one up on me.”

In the past, I used to be one of those people.  “Well, I did THIS and THAT, so why can’t that person be grateful?”  I learned that this isn’t right way to be the older I get. I don’t need recognition or praise when I give to someone.  In my heart, I am happy that he/she is able to be in a better place.  If he/she forgets to thank me, then I don’t even think about it. It’s happened to me numerous times.  When I was younger, I would be irritated for days about it, but now, I just shrug my shoulder and hope that it helped. It’s something that I am teaching my children because I want them to learn this life lesson young.

I have met people who are that way.  They give and give, but then are so humble, that when you thank them, they behave the way my sister did. You don’t need to have constant recognition when you do something.  Just know that you did something good, and that’s it.