DCFemella

Stressed Over Christmas Gift Giving

I decided that the kids (and the adults) in my family have way too many things. They all seem to have iPods, gaming systems, TVs, and anything imaginable. My kids are definitely in the mix (excluding the iPods). Back in the day, I could manage to buy everyone Christmas presents. It was just my immediate family (i.e. parents and sisters) and one aunt. We have now grown to:

Kids
Parents
Sisters
Two nephews
Niece
Three cousins
Two aunts

One of my nephews and niece are my godchildren, so imagine how much I have to spend. Last year, I finally put my foot down and said that I was going to buy for the kids, but the adults had to do a Secret Santa. It helped to alleviate some of the financial burden that Christmas brings.

This year I tried doing the same, except adding the kids in the mix. I proposed that instead of all the adults individually buying the kids presents, we pitch our money to buy them one, big gift that they will use more than once. My older sister agreed, and we made plans on how to carry out the plan. However, there was one person who was dead set against it: my mom. Without her being part of the plans, it fell apart.

Her excuse is that this is her last Christmas before she goes to Panama, so she wants to go all out. My question to her was, “So does that mean that we all have to resort to doing the same?”

I decided that for my children, I am going to get them one, big gift (Playstation 3 Bundle I got on Black Friday), a book each, clothes (my kids love clothes), and one toy. For the rest of the family, I decided to take advantage of Cyber Mondays and got great deals on their stuff.

I am mad at myself cause I didn’t stick to my guns. I should have said no, but it seemed like there was no point cause my sister caved as well. These kids are now going to get a bunch of stuff on Christmas that they are not going to appreciate. They will use it once and then leave it lying around. I am the one that has to drag all that unwanted stuff to charity.

Definitely for next year, I have to come up with a better approach. I remember being happy with two or three presents. Months later, you will still see me using my Christmas presents. I need to start teaching my children that Christmas is for being with your loved ones, and not what presents you get.

WEEKEND RECAP: Thanksgiving, Ornaments, and Illness

Thanksgiving was wonderful. The kids and I got to my parents’ house early that morning to help with the cooking. Isabelle helped me with the ham. We got pineapple slices and got cloves to attach it to the ham. The ham already came coated with brown sugar, so that’s all we really had to do. I made the stuffing and green beans. My mother made the rice with these beans that my grandmother picked for us while we were in Panama. My aunt brought the fried turkey that she gets from Popeyes and the macaroni-n-cheese. After awhile, we all sat down. My dad said the prayer, and then we ate.

See the rest of the pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dcfemella/sets/72157622777445607/

We spent the time talking about our lives and current events. The food was delicious. I definitely know that I gained a few, which I planned to lose this week now that the gym in my office is open. The entire day I was fighting a horrible cold and sore throat. I couldn’t eat as much as I wanted because it hurt to swallowed. By the end of the night, I was dead tired and just wanted to sleep. I got up a few times during the night because my throat hurt so much. I have the bad luck that my glands get swollen where they feel like ping pong balls.

The consensus is that it’s due to stress, and I agree. I never get sick. The last time I got sick was in 2007 when the commute to work was killing me, so I got strep throat two times in a row. I am stretching myself thin, so my body is reacting to that. I now know that I need to relax a bit, and not think I can do 100 things at once.

I was too weak to leave my parents’ house til Saturday. Before I left, I helped my mom put up the Christmas tree, and I took my cousin and Isabelle to see "New Moon," after they begged me for two days. Cebastian got in major trouble, so I punished him by not taking him to the movies. But, now I wonder if it was really a punishment after seeing the movie. I really tried giving the movie a chance, but it was awful. I don’t know if it was cause I didn’t feel very well, but I was bored out of my mind. After that, the kids and I went home.

When I arrived home, I had to deal with my ex and his horrible way of speaking to me, and that kind of ruined my day until I finally said to myself, "Enough!" This guy is not worth me wasting my day, so I decided to put up the Christmas tree.

Today, I feel a whole lot better. My throat is still a little swollen, but it’s not where I can’t deal. The kids and I went to Macy’s and Michaels’ to get new ornaments. It’s a tradition we started. Every year, we each choose an ornament. I think they are lovely.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving with their loved ones.

Emotional Abuse Should Be Treated as a Crime

Verbal abuse is a way to slowly deteriorate any kind of self esteem that a person has, and for that fact, feeling like she is a human being. For two years, I dealt with that kind of abuse from my ex. I once wrote in my diary how many words he called me, and it came up to being over 30 words. It’s been over five years since we have been together, and he still says the most heinous things to me when he wants to. When we lived together, I would hit him because I would get so enraged. I don’t have a bad temper unless you continue to push me, and that is what he did. I can’t even step foot in Fredericksburg without shaking because I begin to relive all those dark moments in my life that I’d rather forget. After leaving him, I had the worst self-esteem imaginable. I was lucky to have dated a wonderful guy who made me realize how a guy should treat a woman, something that my ex, even at 33, hasn’t learned to do.

This weekend I called him to ask him a question about Cebastian. He starts yelling on the phone, “You c*nt, b*tch, wh*re, sl*t” etc. etc. After yelling all these vulgarities, he hangs up. I was infuriated. It got to the point that I actually smashed the phone (lucky it didnt break). I felt the way I felt when I was living with this guy: dirty, low, and wretched. I IM him that I was just asking him something, and he repeats his rant and the words said above. After awhile, I receive a text from him calmly responding back to my question. Too late. I responded that I don’t want to speak to him.

I don’t understand how a 33-year old man can talk to a woman this way. My mom says that I should call the police on him, but I honestly don’t think there is anything the authorities can do. All I know is that I can’t allow this man to speak to me like this anymore. Every time he feels like it, he says, “F*ck you, go to hell, etc.” I really am at a loss as to what to do. I want to tell his parents, but they wouldn’t do anything about it. It bothers me because we are in our thirties, and I still can’t speak to this man in a civilized way.

I don’t want Cebastian to turn out like this man, and I don’t want Isabelle to think it’s ok to be with someone like that. I’m lucky that they only interact with him four days out of the month. I used to get upset that he never bothered to call them during the two weeks they aren’t with him, but now I am happy that he doesn’t. He has psychological issues, and it doesn’t seem that he has gotten any help for his hatred towards women.

I really do wish you could press charges against emotional abuse in the US. I feel like it’s worse than physical abuse because it’s like someone once said to me, “At least bruises disappear.”

Photo Detail: sticks and stones, originally uploaded by Hekate-moon.

What I Am Thankful For in 2009

Thanksgiving is upon us, and it’s the time that you are reminded about what you are thankful for. This year has been marvelous for me. For the past three years (2006-2009), I dealt with the worst things ever: depression, drama, losing love…twice, and family issues. I thought that I would never be happy again, and I’m glad that I was wrong. I am so thankful that I am finally happy and having a wonderful year.

This year I am thankful for having a wonderful family and friends who are always there for me when I’m in need. My children are getting bigger, cuter, and better companions each day that passes. I still watch them when they are sleeping in amazement that I had them. Having children is definitely one of my greatest achievements, and the one I am most proud of. I’m not going to lie that there are times that they drive me insane. However, when they cuddle next to me, and look up at me, I melt and forget about the rest.

My sister finally returned from Afghanistan, and I am so happy that I got to spend a few hours with her before she headed back to Okinawa. I also met Jeff, her boyfriend, who is a wonderful guy, and I know that he will make my sister happy, now and forever. This is the last year that my parents are here before they head back to Panama. We have definitely become closer, and I am glad that we have.

My older sister, niece, and nephews are near me. I am so happy that I did the Maryland Breast Cancer Race with my sister this year. I know that her weight was something that she was struggling with, so I am glad to have been with her while she achieved a great feat, and I saw how proud she was that she was finally got rid of the excess weight.

The rest of my family who I don’t see as much, but I still love like crazy. You are all amazing, especially my cousin Ana Cristina. I love you all.

I am glad for my wonderful friend. Bridget, ,who heard me cry every day in LA, and she didn’t mind. I am so glad that she is back in DC cause now I can see her more often. Ruma is great. I met wonderful people through her, and she has made me do things that I never thought I would ever do before: a ten-miler race, century ride, camping, hiking, rock climbing, etc. Shauna and Tish, who have been with me since I was in high school. We definitely have changed. My friends Amani, Pea, Derrick, and many others who I met on FriendFeed, met in real life, and now I consider them true friends. I hope my friends know how much I adore them.

I am thankful for me. I overcame losing people I loved more than anything. It’s something that I never though I would ever get over. I also overcame depression, which is the worst feeling in the world. You feel like you are in a cage, and unable to get out. But I did it.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving, and has some thing to be thankful for.

Tick Tock Tick Tock…Time Passes By Faster and Faster

It seems like it was 2008 just yesterday. I have realized for awhile that it has to do with how quickly the stores go through the holidays. Before Halloween, I noticed that they had already taken out the Christmas stuff. The kids even said something about it.

“Mommy, they have Christmas ornaments?”

I couldn’t believe it that even Thanksgiving had been forgotten. I’ve been realizing lately that time has been going by faster and faster, and I need to slow it down somehow. My kids are now eight and six. It feels like they were babies yesterday, and I don’t them growing up too fast. I want to enjoy every second with them. Slow down.

While reading Martha Stewart’s “Body and Soul” magazine, one tip was to be conscious of your breathing. I realized that I do breathe pretty shallow and fast. When I had done yoga, the one or two times, you do have to focus on your breathing, and I felt a whole lot better. It’s a good way to feel like time isn’t flying by.

Stop being so busy is another thing that I need to do. I need to realize that I am not superwoman, so I can’t say yes to everything. Even when I am tired, I say yes. It’s time that I learn that it’s ok to say no. No one is going to get upset if I can’t go to an event or do something (well…maybe my mom =P). This weekend I was stretched thin, and by the time Sunday came around, I was so tired that I couldn’t move.

I sometimes feel like I am in that movie “Dark City,” and that there are white, bald men in black trenchcoats controlling what I do or how I do it. I go to sleep, and they come, modify the world, and then wake me back up.

I plan to enjoy a long, relaxing holiday season without feeling the need to rush around. I hope you do the same.

Photo Detail: Dark City, originally uploaded by teabaek.

Their credit machine system is down. Its fascinating seeing them do things like back in the day (@ Skechers) http://4sq.com/cBASEv

Stressed Over Christmas Gift Giving

WEEKEND RECAP: Thanksgiving, Ornaments, and Illness

Emotional Abuse Should Be Treated as a Crime

What I Am Thankful For in 2009

Tick Tock Tick Tock…Time Passes By Faster and Faster

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DCFemella

Stressed Over Christmas Gift Giving

WEEKEND RECAP: Thanksgiving, Ornaments, and Illness

Emotional Abuse Should Be Treated as a Crime

What I Am Thankful For in 2009

Tick Tock Tick Tock…Time Passes By Faster and Faster

Tweet! Tweet!

December Goals

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