Between Career and Love, I Choose Career

6 January, 2010 | dcfemella | Comments

Being a woman is hard. You have to juggle so many hats that it leaves you dizzy. I am currently trying to launch my freelance writing career full-time, and by the time I am in bed, I am exhausted. With school-aged kids who are in different activities, being a single mother, having a full-time job, having family obligations, and dating, I have realized that I am stretching myself thin. Therefore, I have realized that I have to give up one thin – Dating.

I haven’t been very successful with it, and I feel that the majority of the time it’s a waste of time. In order for my dreams of being my own boss on a full-time basis to be realized, I have to let go of my quest to find love. In my career, things are starting to be heading in the right direction, and I have to place all of my energy there.

I know that to have a fulfilling, happy life, you have to find a balance. In the future, I plan on trying to find someone who wants the same things as me, and we get along great. Maybe, it’s also a little sense of disappointment in how things have played out this year for me. I feel like I was trying to force something that was not meant to happen.

My sister did create an Eharmony account for me because she said that it was time for me to find someone. After being harassed, I told her that I would try, but I wasn’t going to actively do it. If it happens, it happens.

I was watching this documentary about singles, and in one of the segments, they discussed women. It showed different experts and singles talking about how it seems that women still have to choose between having a successful career and having a family. One of the things they also talked about was that when a woman did have success in her career, she had a harder time finding a mate than a woman who had not achieved as much as she has.

I wonder why that is. Is it because they don’t have time to date, so they are able to focus more of their energy in their careers? Or is it true that men are scared off by successful women? I think it’s a combination of the two.

All I know is that right now I can’t think about finding a counterpart anymore. It is wasted time and energy that could have been used for something else.


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Revenge Usually Backfires, So Don’t Do It

5 January, 2010 | dcfemella | Comments

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance

One of my favorite trilogies of all time is the Vengeance Trilogy (Sympathy for Mr. Vegeance/Oldboy/Lady Vengeance) by Chan-wook Park. The theme that runs in all of the movies is that revenge is not sweet. It usually backfires, and you, end up being the actual victim of it.

It’s something that I tried explaining to someone this past week. After having someone close to her do something inexcusable, my friend kept talking about getting revenge. I tried for two days to talk her out of it, but with no success.

When I was younger, I was all about vengeance. Maybe old age or lack of every feeling good about any of the failed attempts made me realize that I didn’t accomplish anything. Yes, usually in the first couple of hours or weeks, it feels great to have caused this person who tormented you some pain. However, it’s usually short-lived. In the end, the vengeful act usually backfires.

I tried explaining that to my friend. I told her that the best form of revenge is forgetting that person exists and trying to rise about his/her vicious act. You usually feel a whole lot better, and karma usually takes care of anything you would have thought of. Why does karma work? The person usually doesn’t learn and history repeats itself, usually with him/her on the receiving end.

My friend didn’t listen and still continued forward with her plan. At first, she said she felt great, but then a day later I received a message saying that she should have left the person alone cause now she is in serious trouble for act.

Revenge is never the way to go. Take that energy and exert it doing something wonderful for you.


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My Health Goals for 2010

4 January, 2010 | dcfemella | Comments

Army Ten-Miler 09

Exercising is one of my greatest passions. Without the endorphins that I receive from it not pumping through my body, I usually become irritable, “mad at the world,” and overanalyze to a fault. It’s one of the only reasons that I am glad that the holiday season is over, so I can get back to basics.

My 2010 short-term health goals are:

  1. Run three marathons
  2. Do a century ride
  3. Participate in the Air Force Cycling Challenge
  4. Drink more water
  5. Meditate

I already signed up for the Cherry Blossom Ten Miler coming up in March, and I am ready to start training again.

The best way to get motivated is to do it with a bunch of friends. Luckily, I have found a great group of friends who are all about running, biking, outdoor activities, etc., so I can always find some healthy-type of activity to do. Even when I don’t want to run anymore, I have someone pushing me to keep going. It’s one of the reasons that I can now run for miles on end without stopping. Great motivation.

My long-term goal is to lose 15 pounds. Before Christmas, I went to buy some new jeans, and was disappointed when I couldn’t fit into my size. It made me determined than ever to get some willpower to stop eating so much. Food is my other passion. Luckily, I have always been a lover of healthy foods, but it still doesn’t mean that I can eat all the time. Due to work, illness, and having the tendency to not eat when I’m at home, I dropped some weight, but it’s due to muscle loss, so I am kind of upset about that. However, I have a muscular body, so I know that I will get it back in no time.

What are some of your health goals for 2010?

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Top 10 Most Popular Posts on DCFemella in 2009

3 January, 2010 | dcfemella | Comments

  1. The Increase of Plane Crashes is Freaking Me Out!
  2. Are People Born Evil? Or Made That Way?
  3. Why Does a Strong Woman Scare Some Men Away?
  4. Finally Found Out Why My Cat Kept Vomiting!
  5. Maybe I’m Just Like My Mother; She’s Never Satisfied
  6. My Most Embarrassing Childhood Moment: Learning About Menstruation From My Macho Dad
  7. Is This Letter to My Upstairs Neighbors Too Bitchy?
  8. Being Single is Lonely, But I Want to Remain That Way
  9. Who Should Pay on Dates? Woman or Man?
  10. Dating and the Single Mother

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                    My Personal Outlook on the Passing Decade

                    29 December, 2009 | dcfemella | Comments

                    I can’t believe that the year (and I was reminded that also the decade) is almost over. It seems like I was in my early twenties just yesterday, which is how old I was when this decade began. I think back on all the things that I have gone through since 2000, and how much I have overcome, and I am proud of myself.

                    I’m now a 31-year old woman with two wonderful children, and have the career that I almost always wanted. I say almost because I still want to branch out on my own full-time. I’m healthier than ever, and I am also happier as well. For the first time in my life, I can say that I love all the people around me. There is also no drama in my life. Whenever someone asks me, “Hey, how’s it going?” It isn’t how it was before where I would go and explain all the stressful crap I was dealing with. Now? I just say, “Same ol’, same ol.” It feels amazing to just say that.

                    One of the things that I always do during the holidays is watch “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The movie shows that if you have your family, friends, and your life, you will always find a way to be alright. It’s something that I finally understood this year.

                    Another lesson I learned is that I shouldn’t compare myself to other people. Even if someone has something that I want, I shouldn’t envy her, or be sad that I don’t have it, I just have to make more of an effort for myself. Also, be happy for the things that I do have.

                    Here are my 2010 yearly goals:

                    http://www.43things.com/2010_resolutions/person/dcfemella

                    I am not a resolution-type of person. I usually have a five-year plan, and then I break them down to yearly goals, and then those to monthly goals. I made almost all of my 2009 yearly goals, and so I know that this time, I will make all of my 2010 ones.

                    Well, I shall return next year.

                    Everyone, have a good one, make some goals, and remember what’s important.

                    Photo details: Happy New Year 2010 illustration, originally uploaded by FLOP DESIGN.

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