It’s been over six months since Kristine passed away, and it still feels like it was yesterday.  When does grief finally subside, or does it ever? I picked up Michelle Richmond’s book, “No One You Know” after reading the synopsis.  It’s about a woman dealing with her sister’s death that occurred over 18 years ago.

I wonder if the author lost a sister because she describes my feelings perfectly. I am constantly comparing my life before and after Kristine’s death. It’s like an abrupt slice of my life. There is no continuum; just a sudden halt. There is also a heaviness in the air now that I can’t escape.  Every day I wake up missing my sister, but also my old life. It’s a life that seems like it’s always out of my grasp.

Like the family in the book, we are having a hard time getting closure due to the mystery still surrounding my sister’s death. How can you move on when no answers have been given to you? The only thing that we have been told is that Kristine died due to alcohol poisoning.

For a couple of months that followed, I felt like a zombie.  I went through life not feeling anything but anger and sadness. I finally woke up and realized that I was letting the grief consume me.  Instead of doing nothing, I needed to do something.

It’s S.A.D.

I talked about it before, but I have launched a non-profit organization.  It’s called Stop Alcohol Deaths (S.A.D.).  I started it to bring awareness about the dangers of drinking excessively. In the last few years, I have seen how people are increasingly equating having fun and drinking, or drinking their problems away.  I see it everywhere I go.  I’ll hear things like

“I’m going to get drunk tonight.”

“Drinking it up! So much fun.”

“Rough day…going to get drunk.”

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the number of alcohol-induced deaths, excluding accidents and homicides is 22,073 in the United States. In January 2010, the Office of National Statistics (ONS) showed that alcohol-related deaths are on the rise in the UK from 4,023 in 1992 to 9,031 in 2008.

If I could spare one family the pain and grief that we are going through, then I will feel some happiness from that. We are still awaiting our 501(c)(3) application to be approved, so we can’t be 100% operational until that happens.

You can check out us out at the following locations:

• Facebook Page
• Facebook Cause
• Twitter
• Pledgie
• JustCoz.org

Any non-profit gurus out there, I would love any tips that you can give me.

I am in the process of planning a running event.  My sister was an amazing runner, and loved to help others.  I know she would love that idea.

I can’t let this grief beat me.  All I can do is spare others the same feeling.

I sometimes lose the ability to sleep.  It happens two or three times a year where I am only sleeping about four hours a night.  Then, all of a sudden, I start sleeping again.  This time it’s worse.  Reason? It’s due to external forces why I’m not sleeping. Hagi, my cat, is the culprit. 

I don’t know what is wrong with this cat lately, but he is getting more and more wild in the wee hours of night when he should be sleeping himself. During the day, I see him lounging on the couch, bed, or in a hidden area. Does he not realize that his internal clock is backwards?  There are times that I wake up because he keeps walking on me, jumping on/off the bed, or meowing.  The meowing is the worst.  Even if he is not hungry, he will start making a raucous around five in the morning.  My deep sleep turns into a waking somber. The next day I wake up groggy, and my entire body is tired.

You’re probably wondering why I don’t close the door and keep him out of my room.  Well, Mr. Hagi has taken it upon himself that whenever I do that, he starts scratching and complaining on the other side.  It gets so loud that it’s worse than having him in the bedroom. 

All I know is that something’s gotta give because I am too busy right now to be functioning on no sleep.  Also, Shevonne and no sleep do not mix.  I become irritable, snap at everyone, and I can’t bring myself to smile.

Any remedies to alleviate this cat harassing me at night?

I anxiously await the World Cup.  I never miss it.  The commercials are just as amazing as the actual games.  Here are some of my favorite:

There are some that are missing, but I can’t find them anywhere.  They are:

1. Degree commercial with Mexican Goalie where the people are hiding his deodorant while he runs all over town
2. Verizon Wireless commercial where everyone is watching the World Cup through their smartphones in places where they shouldn’t be doing it. At the end, the father, who is supposed to be watching a school play, jumps up screaming  “Gollllllll!!!!”
3. “Se Armo” Bud Light commercial where the guy invites all these people over at a house that isn’t even his.
4. The car commercial where the kids are playing futbol in a dirt field, and then the big trucks come, and the kids look all disheartened.  They build a field for the kids to play, and then the kids invite the guys to help them play futbol with them.  Forgot who the car maker is.

This commercial has nothing to do with the World Cup, but it’s the only time I saw it.  It’s way better than the Snickers commercial we have in the U.S.  Instead of “divas,” we have zombies. To watch it, here is the link: http://www.snickers.com/espanol/ads/spots.html

I know that there are probably a couple I forgot.  Which ones are your favorite?

“I think we’re here for each other.” ~ Carol Burnett

In your existence, you have to strive to be a nice and loving person.  When you die, all your possessions are not coming with you.  The only thing that will remain are the memories that other people have of you.  It’s up to you to either make those memories good or bad.

I don’t understand why some people are so materialistic and selfish.  I don’t know if maybe it’s cause they feel like money defines them, or cause they have low self-esteem.  The worst is when they don’t even attempt to help others.  If they do help, it’s usually to someone just as selfish as them.

I have always been someone who has always wanted to help others.  I used to joke that I had a “Mother Teresa” complex. I’ve come to realize that I couldn’t help each and every person, especially the ones who didn’t want to help themselves, so I have calmed down a little bit. However, I still try and help others.

Whatever you do in life, you have to realize that you don’t take it with you. It’s you who lives on, so the next time you see someone who desperately needs help, and you have the means to do it, remember that.

My friend N. invited me to go to Zumba yesterday.  It was my first time going, so I was excited.  The class was going to be two hours because it was a monthly charity event hosted by Azuka-Bom.  The proceeds go to Children in Vietnam living with HIV/Aids.  It’s a great cause, and anything to help children, I am there. 

Before the class, I was a little too cocky.  I’m a pretty good dancer, so I thought it wasn’t going to be too hard.  I was wrong.  Before the first dance was over, N. and I were breathing hard.  I was a little shocked being that I usually exercise 4-5 times a week, and it’s usually for 1.5 – two hours.  The leader Azuka was amazing.  This girl was tough, but also had a smile that made you forget that you were sweating profusely.  Her backup dancers were just as good. By the third dance, I got the hang of it, and I was able to do it without breathing like I had run up 1,000 flights of stairs.

I couldn’t believe that it had taken me this long to try Zumba. For someone who loves to dance, this was a class made in heaven.  I was able to get a great workout while dancing and helping a good cause.  N. and I decided that this has to be part of our workout regime.  It’s always great to mix different things together, so your body is constantly surprised.  I told N. that with biking, running, weights, and this, we were going to have rock-solid bodies.  I definitely want that before heading to Mexico with the kids.

To check out how great this class is, I found a video of Azuka and her dancers: