I am going to put this in the bulletin board.  Is it too bitchy?

I think we need to remember that we live in a place where we live in close proximity with other people.  Maybe the floors aren’t insulated properly or people just have heavy feet, but I am getting to the point that I am regretting that I bought this condo.  The noise is unbearable.  I hear people running and stomping above me, and I don’t know if this will ever stop.  

I understand that in a condo environment, you are going to hear noise upstairs.  However, there is a difference between the usual noise and the excessive amounts of noise that are plaguing me now.

Please be considerate of others.  The condo association doesn’t seem like they can do anything, so I have to resort to this or calling the police.  I really don’t want to waste the police’s time.  My patience is low because I already had to deal with almost two months of contractors making crazy amounts of noise, and they are now gone and still no relief.

You can sense when you or others are stomping, running, or pounding, so here a few tips to quiet down the movements you make:

1. Don’t wear shoes

2. If you or someone else is running or stomping, STOP!  

3. Consider getting a sound specialist who can give you tips on how to make your place more sound proof

I’m not trying to be malicious, but when my kids are telling me that they are scared, wake up at night, or I can barely relax or write cause I hear ridiculous amounts of noise upstairs for the past two months, it’s time for this letter.

I love that I am Latina because we get an extended holiday compared to other cultures.  During this time, I miss being in Panama with all of my family.  The holidays are a much more festive time over there because you seem to focus more on family and the community surrounding you.  Additionally, we (children and adults) party the entire holidays.

My children are spoiled.  When I was growing up, we used a worn-out sock to hang for the Three Kings (Reyes Magos) to put candy in.  During Christmas, we only got one or two presents a piece.  Why was I happier?  Every house had their doors opened, and the family went from party to party celebrating the holidays.  It’s so solitary here, and I miss the sense of community that we had in Panama.

Don’t get me wrong.  The holidays are nice here too, but it’s a quieter celebration and filled with teaching children the joys of consumerism.  I am guilty of it as well, but now that I am thinking, maybe it’s time that this changes.

Feliz Dia de Los Reyes Magos!

I held it like it was a newborn baby and was saying to my cousin that she was awesome for finding it.  We get to the cash register, and I carefully placed it on the table.  The cashier rang it up.  I plopped down my gift card like it was a Black American Express, and smiled at my cousin like I had it going on.

The cashier looked at me preplexed.  

“Ummm…I’m sorry but this is Bath & Body Works gift card.”

I felt like I was about two feet tall.  I said nevermind cause I usually can get Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons and sheepishly walked away.

I didn’t realize how much this guy was jealous of me and my achievements until he came for Christmas Eve.

The entire time he was at my condo, he was sizing it up.  Additionally, he kept criticizing everything. 

• “The litter box should be some place else”
• “Your kitchen floors are not right”
• “Your bathroom toilet is running”
• “I think your refrigerator is broken”

I ignored him because I realized it was just jealousy that I bought my own place in Fairfax, while he has a house that is falling apart in Fredericksburg.  

He spent the entire time on his laptop, which made me wonder why he even bothered to show up.  Instead of researching to find a good college or something to that extent, he was playing a Vampire game on Myspace.  Hello!  Myspace was sooooo 2007.  

He bitched about taking out the trash for me; helping me hook up the Wii; and anything under the sun.

He lacks the culture that a 32-year old man should have.  He didn’t know what proscioutto was; kept asking what this and that was when I got Cheesecake Factory appetizers; and looked awkward holding a glass of good, red wine.  

I noticed all of this and wondered how I ever was involved with such a uncultured, lazy man.  I think he realized that he was outclassed because he didn’t even spend Christmas with his kids.

He is now upset because of this, so he has resorted to being the dick he usually is.  

1. He is refusing to sign the passport form, so I can get the kids’ passport for Panama, so I might have to cancel the trip.  =(
2. He was calling every day to talk to his kids for a month cause we were getting along.  Now?  He is back to his old ways.  He didn’t even call the kids to wish them a happy new years.  
3. He called me two days after Christmas Even to say that my son might have learning issues.  Since my son was two, I have been taking him to speech therapy, volunteering at his school, teaching him on my own.  The teachers say he is one of the smartest kids in the class.  This guy has never even met the kids’ teachers or anything, but he slammed the phone when I said that he doesn’t know what he is talking about.

I wish he would just terminate his rights.  He doesn’t do anything except show my kids that he is a lazy, uneducated loser who still behaves as though he is in his early twenties.  

I’m shocked that he is still the way he is.  This is the first time since 2004 that I have been in the same roof as him.  I thought that maybe time had made him mature, but I have realized that he is the same uncultured, uneducated guy I met when I was 21.  

I hope he one day wakes up, or that he finds a strong woman who will help him with his disabilities. 

New Year’s Album

Out of the eight New Year celebrations I have celebrated in the 2000s, I will have to say that this was the best. My parents, children, and Haji were with me. I had an awesome spread that Martha Stewart would have been proud of. I should have invited more people over because now I have tons of champagne, wine, and food. There is always the weekend to invite people over.  There is also the Three Kings on Janauary 6th, and then the family is coming from Panama on the 8th.  Oh, and my younger sister coming in January or April.

The start of this year feels different. I feel confident, alive, and sure of myself. Other than love, I feel the rest of my life categories are doing pretty good.

1. Self - I am off antidepressants, writing every day, and ready to start learning a new language. Now that my sister said she will still be in Okinawa after her deployment, I am wondering if maybe Japanese would be better than French to learn.
2. Family - I have great children who seem happy. We have a wonderful extended family who are there with us whenever we need them. I want to really make an effort to talk to them in Spanish and not be so exasperated with them when they are not behaving. I can’t wait to head to Panama with them.
3. Health - I am at the weight that I want to be. My body is looking great, and I am drinking eight to ten glasses of water. My emotional health is getting there. The only thing I am worried about is the back/hip pain that I am experiencing. Time to make a doctor’s appointment.
4. Fun - I didn’t have much fun this year. The only trip I took was a horrible mess. I wanted to take a solo trip, but fear kept me from doing that. This year is different. I already have a LA trip planned in January. The kids and I are heading to Panama in April, and I plan on making the best of life.
5. Money - I did well last year. I bought a house, saved tons of money, and kept my debt to a minimum. This year I am going to be debt free and save more a month. My biggest motivator is viewing the world.
6. Career - At my full-time job, I want to get a raise, and make a certain amount in my part-time freelance career. I am already off to a good start, and I am not going to let anything get in my way.

I am not much of a resolutions-kinda gal. What I usually do is create a five-year plan, break it down into yearly goals, and then break those down into monthly, and then into daily goals. Depression made me procrastinate and not care much about myself. I am now happier (even though I don’t have Grover), and I plan to remain that way.

Check out my Dreaming in DC blog for details on my progress:

I hope that everyone is able to fulfill everything they want out of life. Life is too short to wait for opportunities and happiness to fall on your lap. Remember that.

DCFemella Diary:

ISFP - The Artists

The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of. 

They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living. 

Dreaming in DC:

ESTJ - The Guardians

The organizing and efficient type. They are especially attuned to setting goals and managing available resources to get the job done. Once they´ve made up their mind on something, it can be quite difficult to convince otherwise. They listen to hard facts and can have a hard time accepting new or innovative ways of doing things. 

The Guardians are often happy working in highly structured work environments where everyone knows the rules of the job. They respect authority and are loyal team players. 

Film and Book Reviews from a Self-Proclaimed Fanatic:

ISFJ - The Nurturers

The quiet, devoted and sympathetic type. They are especially attuned to the present moment, the details of the task at hand and the people involved. They are not big-picture people and tend to be suspicious of future possibilities. They tend to trust history MUCH more than the future. 

The Nurturers enjoy safe and harmonic work places with few surprises and clear goals. Because they are so nice and generous people thay have to look out not to be taken advantage of. It might be important for them to learn to speak up for themselves. 

FreeAgentWriter:

ESTP - The Doers

The active and play-ful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities. 

The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time. 

I’ve gotten in the habit of writing letters to my children every three months or so.  I think I started doing this after my ex’s stepfather committed suicide.  My ex’s mother was devastated for years wondering why couldn’t he have left some type of goodbye.  Even though I will never commit suicide, I want to write letters to my children, so they will have them if something were to ever happen to me.  

If you are thinking of doing the same thing, try and use beautiful paper.  I use paper from Paperchase.  There is also Papyrus that I absolutely adore as well.

I just read about a five-year old cancer patient who wrote hundreds of note to her family, so they could handle her deaths.  She even wrote notes to her sister labeled “How to Handle Kindergarten.”  Letters are powerful.

Related article: http://www.parentdish.com/2008/12/29/five-year-old-cancer-patient-leaves-thousands-of-notes-for-her-f/#

Christmas tree cake

Originally uploaded by cakejournal

I hope that everyone is able to celebrate this wonderful day with family and friends.

In other news, we all got new slippers. Check them out:

This is the candles the kids made for their dad for Christmas:

Closure has come, and I no longer will think about this guy.  He was my Mr. Big.  Laura was right.  Carrie’s relationship with Mr. Big mirrored mine with Grover.  Instead of running back to him any time he feels like he wants me, I will do what Carrie didn’t.  I will find an Aidan, love him, and remain with him.  He thought I was weird, and he said I was complex.  In order for him to feel in control, he needs a simple woman who will be at his beck and call.  This is my goodbye letter to my Mr. Big:

The last thing I will say is that I now feel like Laura did me a favor for being such a crazy bitch that one time.  That situation made me realize how weak you really are and that you want to feel like you can do whatever you want to someone while you get upset if she reacts to your fucked-up behavior.  Your issue is that you want to pretend that you are this perfect guy who doesn’t have any flaws.  When in reality, your lack of facing up to yourself and the people around you, has made you this insecure, depressed guy who will never find happiness unless you become a man and deal with your issues head on.

Like I told you when I first started talking to you. If we end things, I am done.   All the lies you have told in the last three years (well almost), and I still forgived you.  No more.  You are nothing to me but a passing memory.  I will never think of you any longer because my friends are right.  I am better than you, and I think you realize that as well.

Don’t ever contact me again.  You think you had control, but in reality, you don’t have control of anything, especially your life.

His response:

I am sorry I didn’t tell you before, but I am in love with someone else. I hope you and laura work out.

I snickered and it made me realize he was more pathetic than I thought.

My last and final response to him:

For some reason, you saying that stirs up no emotion. It means that I feel nothing for you. Laura is a better person than you and always has been. Tonight I went on a date, and he was an awesome guy. We had the best time ever. It made me realize that you are not perfect. Not even close.

I’m not going to waste my time on you anymore. This is the best present you could have ever given me. Thank you.

Bye and good riddance.