Being a woman is hard. You have to juggle so many hats that it leaves you dizzy. I am currently trying to launch my freelance writing career full-time, and by the time I am in bed, I am exhausted. With school-aged kids who are in different activities, being a single mother, having a full-time job, having family obligations, and dating, I have realized that I am stretching myself thin. Therefore, I have realized that I have to give up one thin – Dating.

I haven’t been very successful with it, and I feel that the majority of the time it’s a waste of time. In order for my dreams of being my own boss on a full-time basis to be realized, I have to let go of my quest to find love. In my career, things are starting to be heading in the right direction, and I have to place all of my energy there.

I know that to have a fulfilling, happy life, you have to find a balance. In the future, I plan on trying to find someone who wants the same things as me, and we get along great. Maybe, it’s also a little sense of disappointment in how things have played out this year for me. I feel like I was trying to force something that was not meant to happen.

My sister did create an Eharmony account for me because she said that it was time for me to find someone. After being harassed, I told her that I would try, but I wasn’t going to actively do it. If it happens, it happens.

I was watching this documentary about singles, and in one of the segments, they discussed women. It showed different experts and singles talking about how it seems that women still have to choose between having a successful career and having a family. One of the things they also talked about was that when a woman did have success in her career, she had a harder time finding a mate than a woman who had not achieved as much as she has.

I wonder why that is. Is it because they don’t have time to date, so they are able to focus more of their energy in their careers? Or is it true that men are scared off by successful women? I think it’s a combination of the two.

All I know is that right now I can’t think about finding a counterpart anymore. It is wasted time and energy that could have been used for something else.

I am ready to get the hell out of here for a while. The day I become a full-time freelance writer is the day when I will experience real happiness. I won’t have to deal with annoying coworkers who define themselves as an employee, and nothing else.

I am at work creating an enhancement design document. First, no one has shown me what the enhancements to the system will be. Second, it took these people over five years to fully understand the current system. Third, they keep changing the requirements every day.

I send the experts a section for one of the functional areas. Note that I told them that this is just a section and not the entire document, so to let me know where to add additional information. I got feedback indicating that this reads more like a user manual and that it needs to show the process. I don’t know if these people can’t see very well or what. I said in my email that this is just a portion. On top of that, I am using the template for this section from a document one of them gave me. This same guy is going to tell me to add more information. This portion is verbatim what he gave me, and actually more! I had to repeat like ten times that this is not the entire design document.

I think I did a damn good job for someone who doesn’t fully understand the system or the requirements. They are the ones that need to add the missing pieces.
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I am ready to leave today and not come back til next week. Cancun, here I come! I can’t wait for the day I work for myself again. I can’t stand working for other people. The listening skills and the egos run rampant in companies, and I want out. I give myself another year.