“I think we’re here for each other.” ~ Carol Burnett

In your existence, you have to strive to be a nice and loving person.  When you die, all your possessions are not coming with you.  The only thing that will remain are the memories that other people have of you.  It’s up to you to either make those memories good or bad.

I don’t understand why some people are so materialistic and selfish.  I don’t know if maybe it’s cause they feel like money defines them, or cause they have low self-esteem.  The worst is when they don’t even attempt to help others.  If they do help, it’s usually to someone just as selfish as them.

I have always been someone who has always wanted to help others.  I used to joke that I had a “Mother Teresa” complex. I’ve come to realize that I couldn’t help each and every person, especially the ones who didn’t want to help themselves, so I have calmed down a little bit. However, I still try and help others.

Whatever you do in life, you have to realize that you don’t take it with you. It’s you who lives on, so the next time you see someone who desperately needs help, and you have the means to do it, remember that.

If you remember, I wrote about these upstairs neighbors moving in who let their kids run all over the place.  It’s to the point that my kids complain about how loud those neighbors are. It’s always the same thing.  I write her an email, and she acts like her kids haven’t been making any noise, and then the noise stops for a few months.  All of a sudden, it happens once again. The last time I CC:ed the owner and told them that I was going to call the police and the condo association from now on.  The noise stopped for a few months, and here we are again.

For over three hours, I’ve been hearing running and stomping where the ceiling shakes. After two hours, I call the police.  They said that if they can hear it from the outside, then they can knock on the door and talk to them.  Lo and behold, here comes the police, and guess what! You can hear the kids screaming and jumping all over the place. I am SO glad that the police heard them because it validates that I am not crazy.

When they open the door, I hear them telling the police that I am ALWAYS complaining and that they were just watching television.  I couldn’t believe that these people would straight up lie like that.  The worst part is that these are the grandparents (over 70 years old) who blatantly just fibbed.  My first thought is what are you teaching your grandchildren who know they were running around, but hear you telling the police something different. I’m so glad that the police had my back. They informed them that they could hear them all the way downstairs, so they are too loud.  Instead of admitting that they were wrong, they are going to continue saying that I am the issue and that they were not doing anything. My face was beet red, and I was ready to storm upstairs and call them liars to their faces.  However, I calmed down and listened to the police tell them that they were too loud and to keep it down.

According to the police, if they continue in less than 24 hours, they will get a courts summon.  Miraculously, the noise has subsided.  Now, if they were just watching television and not causing any turmoil, then why is it that all of a sudden the pounding has stopped? Hmmmm…3D televisions are coming out, but I don’t think we have any virtual ones that the characters actually step out of the TVs and act it out right in front of you.

It baffles me that it’s a beautiful day outside, but instead of taking the kids to the park, they let them run inside the apartment.  It’s like I told her in the last email. Our kids are similar ages, but I have my kids outdoors, so they exert their energy while having fun.  She should be doing the same.  If she isn’t, it isn’t my problem. I’m not standing for this anymore.  If they want to be inconsiderate pricks who don’t give a damn about my feelings, then right back at ya.

There are some people in this world who are just out to use others.  It has never made sense to me, and I always wonder what goes in that person’s head that makes him/her be such a selfish, delusional individual. Every time you need me to help you, I do.  Even if you are not my favorite person, I still help you.  Maybe it’s cause of empathy, or cause I think of the people who will benefit from it.  However, you always repay me by being yourself (not a good thing). Not once have you ever intended to help me with anything in life. 

Since the beginning, you have been MIA.  When I found out I was pregnant, you vanished.  When I was trying to get my college degree while pregnant with Cebastian and Isabelle, you didn’t help, even though we lived in the same household.  I have luckily had a supportive family who were always there to help me because without them, I would never have the successes that I’ve been lucky enough to have.

I never hear from you unless you want something.  This time I am not going to be “Ms. Nice Shevonne Who Always Gets Stabbed in the Back.” You should ask someone you respect to help you with your resume.  You should ask someone who cares to help you finally get your college degree.  What’s funny is that I got my degree while taking care of two babies.  I barely slept, but I kept trekking because I knew that it would provide a better future for them.  You only have your kids two days out of the month.  Yes, TWO.  However, you were never able to get your degree.  Oh yeah, I forgot, I applied and wrote your essay for you to get into college.  I also did your programming homework because you couldn’t grasp it. I guess it’s always been the same story with us.

I am not allowing people to use me anymore.  It’s time that I stand up for myself.  You are the first person who I am saying “NO” to. So, no, I won’t be your Huckleberry.

Photo Credit: DocHoliday, originally uploaded by Mick Muise.

When you do something nice for someone or give a gift, do you expect something in return?  Do you constantly remind the person of all the things that you have done for them?  It’s something that I never understood about some people.  They are always having to exclaim, “But I did this for you.”

It’s something that used to drive my sister and me wild.  Someone would do something for you.  However, she would be extremely mean, always put you down, and make your life a living hell.  When you got upset, she always rebutted with, “But I did that for you that one time, so you should be a little grateful.” It never stops.  The constant reminders.  I don’t know how people can live that way.  Shouldn’t they be content with the “thank you” they receive?  Do they think that one nice thing makes up for the 1,000 bad things that they are going to do or have done?

My sister Kristine volunteered and helped so many people.  Whenever you would tell her that she is doing such wonderful things, she would get flustered and say, “Oh stop, I do it cause I want to help people.”  I wish that some people would learn from that.  Even after her death, someone is constantly reminding us that she once gave Kristine a van. I remember Kristine talking about that once.  She said, “She always has to remind me that she did me this favor.  It’s like she is gloating that she has one up on me.”

In the past, I used to be one of those people.  “Well, I did THIS and THAT, so why can’t that person be grateful?”  I learned that this isn’t right way to be the older I get. I don’t need recognition or praise when I give to someone.  In my heart, I am happy that he/she is able to be in a better place.  If he/she forgets to thank me, then I don’t even think about it. It’s happened to me numerous times.  When I was younger, I would be irritated for days about it, but now, I just shrug my shoulder and hope that it helped. It’s something that I am teaching my children because I want them to learn this life lesson young.

I have met people who are that way.  They give and give, but then are so humble, that when you thank them, they behave the way my sister did. You don’t need to have constant recognition when you do something.  Just know that you did something good, and that’s it.

I had the worst day that I’ve had in a super long time.  Even before I got into work, I already had a feeling that today was not going to be a good day.  It wasn’t.  Anything that could go wrong, did.  I thought that I would have time to head to the gym, so I could de-stress before picking up the kids.  No such luck.  The craziness at work took longer than I wanted, so I had no time to go to the gym.  The only saving grace was that I was going to see the kids.

I knew that when I saw them and was able to kiss their cheeks, I would feel a whole lot better.  We ran some errands before heading home.  I’m so exhausted that I knew that if I went home, I wouldn’t go anywhere.  Therefore, the kids and I ventured out.  We had a great time doing everyday things.  For a second, I forgot that stress existed.  Even now, I am tired, but I don’t feel like I’m going to burst into tears at any moment.  Luckily I have a wonderful coworker who I can vent to, and she doesn’t get upset or judge me.  If she wasn’t there, I don’t know what I would do.

Even though I’m still stressed, I feel better knowing that like Scarlett O’Hara said, “Tomorrow is another day.”  It will be Tuesday and a day closer to Friday.  I keep telling myself that this is temporary so I can deal.  All I know is that I can’t endure this craziness much longer.  I’ve already gotten sick three times, had H. Pylori, and feel crappy. This is all due to stress related to work.  Something’s gotta give.