I sometimes lose the ability to sleep.  It happens two or three times a year where I am only sleeping about four hours a night.  Then, all of a sudden, I start sleeping again.  This time it’s worse.  Reason? It’s due to external forces why I’m not sleeping. Hagi, my cat, is the culprit. 

I don’t know what is wrong with this cat lately, but he is getting more and more wild in the wee hours of night when he should be sleeping himself. During the day, I see him lounging on the couch, bed, or in a hidden area. Does he not realize that his internal clock is backwards?  There are times that I wake up because he keeps walking on me, jumping on/off the bed, or meowing.  The meowing is the worst.  Even if he is not hungry, he will start making a raucous around five in the morning.  My deep sleep turns into a waking somber. The next day I wake up groggy, and my entire body is tired.

You’re probably wondering why I don’t close the door and keep him out of my room.  Well, Mr. Hagi has taken it upon himself that whenever I do that, he starts scratching and complaining on the other side.  It gets so loud that it’s worse than having him in the bedroom. 

All I know is that something’s gotta give because I am too busy right now to be functioning on no sleep.  Also, Shevonne and no sleep do not mix.  I become irritable, snap at everyone, and I can’t bring myself to smile.

Any remedies to alleviate this cat harassing me at night?

My friend N. invited me to go to Zumba yesterday.  It was my first time going, so I was excited.  The class was going to be two hours because it was a monthly charity event hosted by Azuka-Bom.  The proceeds go to Children in Vietnam living with HIV/Aids.  It’s a great cause, and anything to help children, I am there. 

Before the class, I was a little too cocky.  I’m a pretty good dancer, so I thought it wasn’t going to be too hard.  I was wrong.  Before the first dance was over, N. and I were breathing hard.  I was a little shocked being that I usually exercise 4-5 times a week, and it’s usually for 1.5 – two hours.  The leader Azuka was amazing.  This girl was tough, but also had a smile that made you forget that you were sweating profusely.  Her backup dancers were just as good. By the third dance, I got the hang of it, and I was able to do it without breathing like I had run up 1,000 flights of stairs.

I couldn’t believe that it had taken me this long to try Zumba. For someone who loves to dance, this was a class made in heaven.  I was able to get a great workout while dancing and helping a good cause.  N. and I decided that this has to be part of our workout regime.  It’s always great to mix different things together, so your body is constantly surprised.  I told N. that with biking, running, weights, and this, we were going to have rock-solid bodies.  I definitely want that before heading to Mexico with the kids.

To check out how great this class is, I found a video of Azuka and her dancers:

Tomorrow I run the Cherry Blossom Ten Miler. I was one of the lucky few to have gotten a token to be able to participate in the run. I’m apprehensive though. I haven’t been training.

Don’t get me wrong, I really tried to train. However, I never got the chance to due to unfortunate events. I wasn’t going to do it, but I said that I wanted to do it in honor of my sister, who was one of the best female runners in the Air Force, so I’m doing it.

Its like life. There are things that you are afraid to do due to lack of preparation, like give a speech, have a baby, prepare for any other experience, but you still do it.

Yes, I know that Ill probably be walking the entire time, but at least I still did it and finished.

If you asked me last year if you thought I was going to be a pretty good runner, I would have laughed at you, and told you that I didn’t have time for jokes.  Now, it’s a different story. I love running.  Yes, at times, it can be a little daunting.  However, after awhile, you can run and run without even thinking twice about it.

Last year, when I went to Panama, I couldn’t even run for a mile.  Kristine was my motivation and moral support.  This is a girl who did marathons all the time, and was always one of the fastest girls in her squandron.  I remember that I allowed my friends to convince me to sign up for the Army Ten Miler.  I would chat with my sister and tell her that I couldn’t do something like that. She told me not to give up, and that before she joined the Air Force, she was a terrible runner.  Like me, she said that she would constantly get cramps because she didn’t know how to breathe properly.  Also, she would get tired after she took two steps.  She said that it took her a couple of months to finally build up her stamina, and not think that running was half bad.

I remember being in Panama and running with her.  She would be running without even heaving, and I couldn’t even speak.  I would tell her to keep running cause I felt bad that I was preventing her from running the way she was accustomed to.  She would stop and smile at me.

“That’s ok Shevonne.  I want to walk with you.”

It was due to her support that I was eventually able to run the Army Ten Miler without stopping.  The first time I ran one mile without stopping, I sent her an email, so excited that I was able to do even that.  She was so ecstatic.  She responded, “I am so happy for you! I knew you could do it.”

When she passed away, I stopped exercising for awhile because it was hard for me to even get out of bed.  Eventually I had to because I had two children to take care of.  I didn’t even want to do the Cherry Blossom Ten Miler that I was doing in April.  However, I knew that Kristine loved that I was running, so I decided to start training.  The first two times I tried running, I could only do a mile.  I finally said to myself, “STOP THIS! If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your sister, who was so proud of you.”

I started running two, three, and now five miles without thinking twice.  Yesterday when I ran five miles, I kept thinking that she was running right next to me, and encouraging me to keep going.  It was the only way that I kept running until I reached my goal.  I felt great afterwards, and I was able to smile, without having to force it, for the first time in over a month. 

I want her to be proud of me in anything that I do.  I hope that she is.

Overanalyzer, thinks too much, calm down, relax, control freak

Those are words that I’ve heard from time to time from various people. It’s something that I have gotten better at, and I continue to improve on. One thing that helped me was when I was taking Body Flow. It’s a workout class that combines Tai Chi, Yoga, and Pilates. At the end of each workout session, you lay in a Dead-Body pose, close your eyes, and relax. During this time, I would let go of any thoughts that I had. By the time the instructor would tell us to awake, I felt alive and was able to clearly think about what I needed to focus on, instead of the 1,000 things I was thinking about.

One thing that I have been trying to do is meditate for 15 minutes a day. I preferably want to do it before the day begins, but I shouldn’t let it deter me from doing it if I forget in the morning. The best time for me to do this is in the shower. I close my eyes, watch my breathing, and let the warm water embody me. By the time I open my eyes, I feel like I can conquer the world. However, I only meditate for five minutes because I start getting restless. I need to get to the point where I can relax for a few more minutes

The Dead-Body pose is great, and I want to start doing this before I get out of bed. I also tried Bikram Yoga, and this was the only pose that I could withstand before getting frustrated. I don’t know why it’s easier to relax when someone else tells you to. It’s time that I tell myself to.

Meditation is a practice that can do wonders for you, especially someone who has her mind going a mile a minute at all times. There are times that I am thinking so many things at once that I jumble my words. This will be a way to calm my mind enough. It could help with the migraines I have noticed are starting to come back.

Just Breathe