WANTED: True Friends

Posted by dcfemella | Posted in friends | Posted on 16-04-2010

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"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands what you have become and still allows you to grow."  --Shakespeare inspired--

True friends are during tough times because they will stick with you no matter what.  If you need to talk, they are always there to listen.  If you need a hug, they are there to give you a big one.  If you want to laugh, they are the ones who will tell a funny joke.  There are some people who get that, and those that don’t.

Two of my problems is that I am too nice and want to save the world.  You are probably thinking if that is really a bad thing.  It can be because people will take advantage of that. I’ve come to realize that there are some people who are not really my friends. I look at the people who genuinely care about me. They ask me how I am, and it’s not usually an ulterior motive to ask me about things. This past week was a rough week for me, and I realized that the people who stuck by me are the ones who always have.  It was genuinely to ensure that I was ok.

When I was watching “Kell on Earth.” She said that there are people who are constantly asking her for free advice. They call with the pretense that they wanted to check up on her, but in actuality, it is to ask for freebies. It is that way with some people in my life. I think about all the free advice I have given out, and I think, “Damn, I could have made thousands of dollars.” Enough is enough. I am no longer going to be dishing out free advice over and over again, especially when I don’t get anything in return.

It’s like one of the coolest people, who I am lucky enough to call a friend, said to me, “You have to take care of yourself, and think about how to feel better.”  It’s something that my sister always said to me as well.  She always thought that I was too giving, and I needed to learn to be selfish.  They’re right, and I’m going to start being more selfish from now on.

Pay it Forward: Helping People During Hard Times

Posted by dcfemella | Posted in friends, self | Posted on 10-02-2010

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Just hold my hand ...

My sister’s death was unexpected and shocking.  It devastated our family, and we weren’t sure how we would go on (still don’t).  However, I learned something with her passing.  The love and support that our friends, family, and peers showed us during this trying time is something I will never forget. 

During this time, you don’t want to move out of your bed.  You don’t think about doing everyday tasks (e.g. cooking, cleaning, walking, etc.).  In Panama, the practice is very different. People come to your house where you have to cater to them. It’s something that drove me insane when my grandfather and aunt passed away. Here in the U.S. it was the opposite. I was amazed how loved ones came from far and beyond to help bring us food, help us clean, keep us company, and take care of the kids.  These are just a few things. It was comforting to see so many people come to show their support by helping us do things that we had seemed to forget overnight.

Even online, people I interact with every day, showed their support by giving me their sympathy. They might not know it, but that was a huge comfort for me, and I want to thank you for that, especially my fellow FFers.

My wonderful friends came by and brought us dinner, took Cebastian and Isabelle to the movies, and sent my sister lovely flowers. You are all wonderful, and I am glad to have met all of you. Thanks again.

If someone I know, even if that person is not a close friend, has something devastating happen in his/her family, then I definitely plan on being there in any way I can. Even if the person doesn’t pay it forward, it really doesn’t matter. I will know that I have helped someone in even a small way during a trying time.

What I Am Thankful For in 2009

Posted by dcfemella | Posted in family, friends, self | Posted on 25-11-2009

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Family Saying Goodbye

Thanksgiving is upon us, and it’s the time that you are reminded about what you are thankful for. This year has been marvelous for me. For the past three years (2006-2009), I dealt with the worst things ever: depression, drama, losing love…twice, and family issues. I thought that I would never be happy again, and I’m glad that I was wrong. I am so thankful that I am finally happy and having a wonderful year.

Cebastian's Birthday

This year I am thankful for having a wonderful family and friends who are always there for me when I’m in need. My children are getting bigger, cuter, and better companions each day that passes. I still watch them when they are sleeping in amazement that I had them. Having children is definitely one of my greatest achievements, and the one I am most proud of. I’m not going to lie that there are times that they drive me insane. However, when they cuddle next to me, and look up at me, I melt and forget about the rest.

Kristine, Welcome Back!

My sister finally returned from Afghanistan, and I am so happy that I got to spend a few hours with her before she headed back to Okinawa. I also met Jeff, her boyfriend, who is a wonderful guy, and I know that he will make my sister happy, now and forever. This is the last year that my parents are here before they head back to Panama. We have definitely become closer, and I am glad that we have.

Ethan's BaptismEthan's BaptismEthan's BaptismEthan's Baptism

My older sister, niece, and nephews are near me. I am so happy that I did the Maryland Breast Cancer Race with my sister this year. I know that her weight was something that she was struggling with, so I am glad to have been with her while she achieved a great feat, and I saw how proud she was that she was finally got rid of the excess weight.

Panama Trip 2009Mariah, Isabelle, and Me

The rest of my family who I don’t see as much, but I still love like crazy. You are all amazing, especially my cousin Ana Cristina. I love you all.

Bridget and MeRuma's Birthday Party Adult Halloween 2009Amani and MePea and IWe Be ClubbinRuma's Birthday PartyThanksgiving Food Drive with the Kids

I am glad for my wonderful friend. Bridget, ,who heard me cry every day in LA, and she didn’t mind. I am so glad that she is back in DC cause now I can see her more often. Ruma is great. I met wonderful people through her, and she has made me do things that I never thought I would ever do before: a ten-miler race, century ride, camping, hiking, rock climbing, etc. Shauna and Tish, who have been with me since I was in high school. We definitely have changed. My friends Amani, Pea, Derrick, and many others who I met on FriendFeed, met in real life, and now I consider them true friends. I hope my friends know how much I adore them.

Air Force Cycling Classic Race 2009

I am thankful for me. I overcame losing people I loved more than anything. It’s something that I never though I would ever get over. I also overcame depression, which is the worst feeling in the world. You feel like you are in a cage, and unable to get out. But I did it.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving, and has some thing to be thankful for.

Weekend Recap: Thanksgiving Food Drive, Small Twitter Meetup, and Girls’ Night Out

Posted by dcfemella | Posted in family, friends, fun | Posted on 22-11-2009

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Thanksgiving Food Drive

My friend R. told me about a food drive that a local church was having for Thanksgiving.  I quickly volunteered.  The kids and I woke up at six in the morning, got ready, and headed there.  As a thank you for coming with me, we headed to Chick-Fil-A to have their chicken minis (NOM!).

Thanksgiving Food Drive

Around eight, we arrived at the church.  There was a huge line of people waiting for the food drive to begin.  The kids and I went to a side door to begin volunteering.  W each got our own name tag, and the coordinator told us to go to one of the tables filled with food.  I have never done a food drive, and I was shocked at the amount of food there was.  It seemed like grocery stores donated food to the church, which I thought was wonderful.  I even noticed an IT consulting company was volunteering as well.

Thanksgiving Food Drive

The kids and I were in charge of the Instant Meal/International table (don’t know how the two are similar) and were told our job.  We were suppose to restock the table as soon as a person made a decision of the item he/she was going to put in the grocery bags.  Luckily we got the table that had stairs behind us, so the kids could sit.  A few moments later, the food drive began.

Thanksgiving Food Drive

I was impressed on how organized it was.  The head coordinator was very efficient in any issues that arose.  A volunteer would help an individual/family go to each table, which were theme based, and help them pick the amounts of items they could get.  If a person had a question, the person assisting them or one of the people in charge of the tables would help them with any questions.

Thanksgiving Food Drive

At first, the kids didn’t understand the point of all of it, until they started seeing the smiles on people’s faces.  The quickly began helping me restock.  There were times that I didn’t do anything but stand there awaiting the next person to come because they kids quickly helped replace any items.

Thanksgiving Food Drive

They also helped me send messages back and forth.  I was really proud of them. At the end, they didn’t want to leave.  I had to push them out of the door.  Cebastian later said, “Mommy, that was fun!”

Thanksgiving Food Drive

Cebastian had these extra thoughts:

After that, we headed to my parents’ house.  My 11-year old cousin was there, so the kids played with her until their father came to pick them up.  I said a few minutes later, “I miss them.”

My cousin said, “Already?!”

My mother is doing some consulting work for the Library of Congress, so she asked if I could run some Thanksgiving errands for her. My cousin and I got in the car and headed to Sam’s Club to get the apple pie and pumpkin pie that the kids love.  I also picked up some sparkling wine for them as well.  We took some time to go to Border’s and roam around.  I was a little disappointed in their sales section this time around, so we went home empty-handed.

After talking to my mom for awhile, I noticed the time.  I had to start getting ready for dinner with Chaesco and Choodomir. By that time, I had only slept four hours, and I hadn’t taken a nap, so I was dead tired.  However, I got up, went home, and got ready to go to dinner and then out with my friends.

It was nice meeting Chaesco.  He is wicked smart, so I loved hearing him speak about the things he was doing at AnimeUSA.  We went to Jaleo and ate Spanish tapas.  I could have eaten more, but everyone else had stopped eating, so I decided not to.  Choodomir and I left Chaesco and headed to the Science Club to meet my friends.

Girls' Night Out

They arrived and we had fun.  Well, that is until I started crashing.  I could barely keep awake, so I decided that it was time to head home.

Girls' Night Out

Overall, it was a wonderful weekend doing wonderful things and being with wonderful people.


Camping Tips I Learned While Camping

Posted by dcfemella | Posted in friends, fun | Posted on 13-10-2009

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“A breath of fresh air with wonderful friends”

For Flick Album: http://bit.ly/4C8Vzd

How I did it: My friend R. contacted me about going camping. It’s one of the things that I planned on doing this year, so I excitedly agreed. I was finally able to use the camping equipment that I bought with my ex the year before. After dropping the kids off, I changed, got some camping essentials, and was on my way. I thought it would only take me one hour, but it took two hours. It started getting really dark, and I was alone, so it was pretty scary. Next time, I am definitely going to try to ride with someone. The drive was a pretty one when I got into the Shenandoah Park, so I have no complaints.

I was the last to arrive, but it didn’t matter. My friends had already started the fun times, so I was able to instantly enjoy myself. We began a game that I had never heard of called “Never Have I Ever.” You are suppose to say things you have never done, and if someone had done it, he/she had to drink. After awhile of playing it, we started laughing hysterically and being really loud, so the guy next to us came over to tell us that there his kids were sleeping. We all felt bad, so we went to sleep.

My friends had brought one tent that was reminiscent of the tent in Harry Potter. It was huge, and all six of us fit. I didn’t sleep very well because it was super windy, and I felt like the tent was going to blow away. The next day, I got up and R. was already cooking away. I already know that girl is going to be an amazing mother. She made us bagels and sausages. It started to rain a little, but all of us were ready to go hiking, so we went.

The hike was gorgeous. We saw two waterfalls and were in awe with all the breathtaking views from the colorful leaves. My friends are like paparazzi, so they were snapping away. The guys had to be the adventurous ones and go inside one of the waterfalls. The girls just watched them wincing every time one of them looked as though they were ready to slip. It was time to head back. It was torturous. It was just a huge hill for an hour. My friend N. and I looked at each other and said “Screw this! We are going to do this.” We had to stop a few times to ensure that the group was with us, and we kept going. We finally reached the top and did the Rocky victory dance.

Our friends R. and R., who organized this, went all out with the food. Yummy burgers, trail mix, salmon, wild rice, potatoes, smores, and chips. I know who I want to be with if I have to go camping again. 

The funniest thing that happened was with bugs (of course!). There were these little stick bugs that kept jumping on our food and us. R. wanted to check out this food in a bag that she got from the camping store, so I made it. It was a Chicken Teriyaki stew, and I was the only one who tried it. When I was eating it, one of those stick bugs jumped on my plate. I screamed and without thinking flung the bowl towards N.’s roommate. After making sure he was ok, they started making fun of me. I really need to work on how afraid I am of bugs.

I headed home in a very good mood that I was able to go camping before it got too cold. I had a marvelous time, and I plan on taking the kids next spring.

Lessons & tips:

  1. If a bug scares you, throw your hot food in the other direction where other people are sitting
  2. Don’t forget that if you are hiking downhill, you will have to go back up eventually
  3. Make the best out of any situation
  4. Don’t forget to thank the host/ess
  5. Have quiet voices when there are kids camping near you
  6. Bring a pad so you can sleep better
  7. Bring an MP3 player for those insane hikes
  8. Bring a stack of Uno cards
  9. Take tons of pictures
  10. Smile

Resources:

  1. Fun, Non-Drama-Filled Friends
  2. Sleeping Bag
  3. Off Bug Spray
  4. Rain Poncho
  5. Open Mind

It took me 6 months.

It made me Good Times