I took the kids to the National Zoo yesterday. We had a blast going around and seeing all the animals. Here is a video that is a compilation of all the animals we saw.
It’s been over six months since Kristine passed away, and it still feels like it was yesterday. When does grief finally subside, or does it ever? I picked up Michelle Richmond’s book, “No One You Know” after reading the synopsis. It’s about a woman dealing with her sister’s death that occurred over 18 years ago.
I wonder if the author lost a sister because she describes my feelings perfectly. I am constantly comparing my life before and after Kristine’s death. It’s like an abrupt slice of my life. There is no continuum; just a sudden halt. There is also a heaviness in the air now that I can’t escape. Every day I wake up missing my sister, but also my old life. It’s a life that seems like it’s always out of my grasp.
Like the family in the book, we are having a hard time getting closure due to the mystery still surrounding my sister’s death. How can you move on when no answers have been given to you? The only thing that we have been told is that Kristine died due to alcohol poisoning.
For a couple of months that followed, I felt like a zombie. I went through life not feeling anything but anger and sadness. I finally woke up and realized that I was letting the grief consume me. Instead of doing nothing, I needed to do something.
I talked about it before, but I have launched a non-profit organization. It’s called Stop Alcohol Deaths (S.A.D.). I started it to bring awareness about the dangers of drinking excessively. In the last few years, I have seen how people are increasingly equating having fun and drinking, or drinking their problems away. I see it everywhere I go. I’ll hear things like
“I’m going to get drunk tonight.”
“Drinking it up! So much fun.”
“Rough day…going to get drunk.”
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the number of alcohol-induced deaths, excluding accidents and homicides is 22,073 in the United States. In January 2010, the Office of National Statistics (ONS) showed that alcohol-related deaths are on the rise in the UK from 4,023 in 1992 to 9,031 in 2008.
If I could spare one family the pain and grief that we are going through, then I will feel some happiness from that. We are still awaiting our 501(c)(3) application to be approved, so we can’t be 100% operational until that happens.
You can check out us out at the following locations:
Any non-profit gurus out there, I would love any tips that you can give me.
I am in the process of planning a running event. My sister was an amazing runner, and loved to help others. I know she would love that idea.
I can’t let this grief beat me. All I can do is spare others the same feeling.
Last night, my 17-year old nephew called me very sad. It broke my heart. One thing that I never want any of my kids (including my niece, nephews, and little cousins) to experience is pain. If I could, I would transfer all their sadness to me, so that they could live without feeling sadness. I know that is something that can’t happen. The only way that we become the people we are meant to be is by experiencing everything that life has to offer. However, I can still wish it wasn’t so.
One of my favorite songs of all time is Regina Belle’s “If I Could.” It’s how I think every parent feels. Wishing that they could shield their children from any harm and pain. When I heard my nephew cry, I began crying as well. I felt his sadness and it made me feel so helpless that I couldn’t do anything. I know that I can’t do anything else but listen to him, and I know that is probably all that he needed at the moment.
Listening is something that you have to learn as a parent. You want your kids to feel comfortable to come to you whenever they are in trouble and/or need someone to talk to. More than likely, they don’t want your advice. They just want you to sympathize and listen to them vent. I’m glad that I am able to at least do that for them.
We read many books on grieving, and talked to different clergymen. One thing that we loved is planting a tree, bush, or flowers for Kristine, who passed away on January 26, 2010. We waited til spring had arrived before doing it. It was a very wonderful feeling to be putting life back into this Earth in honor of our sister who had left it. My mother, sister, and I are also going to start a site in honor of my sister, and to help others who are suffering the way that she was. When I finish the site, then I will discuss in more detail what that is.
Here is the video that we made of us planting a yellow-rose bush for Kristine:
Here is the Flickr set that I created: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dcfemella/sets/72157623886065546/