This year, I have been cooking more than I have in years.  For some reason, I had gotten lazy, and so the kids and I had been eating out way too much.  It got to the point that they wouldn’t touch food unless it was made from a restaurant.  Last week, I made this Shepherd’s Pie with potatoes and sweet potatoes. I got it out of this book, Healthy Cooking for Your Kids.  It has great recipes that help you make yummy food that your kids will actually eat.  It worked! My kids couldn’t stop eating it.

After that, I decided that I wanted to create this Coconut Chicken that I saw in my The South Beach Diet book.  It didn’t stop there.  I wanted to continue cooking, so I made two Spinach and Mushroom quiches, one for tomorrow and one for later.  It makes me feel good when I cook.  I am taking different ingredients, and using my hand to create something that others will savor.  It’s something that I love to do.

Cooking and food is a way to bond families. If you talk to people, you will usually get a story about how a certain recipe reminds them of a beautiful memory that they had with their family.  It’s one of the other reasons that I love food so much.  It’s something that I want to pass my love for cooking on to my  kids.  Whenever they have a chance, I have them in the kitchen with me stirring something on the oven (while I supervise, of course).

What food makes you think about family?

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Post tags: children, Cooking, Food, kid

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Awhile ago, I spoke about how my daughter Isabelle was not doing very well in school.  I’ve tried everything that you can think of: flash cards, workbooks, extra time reading, doing extra homework, etc., and I still see that she is behind.  When we read a word, and we see it in the next sentence, she freezes and doesn’t remember what it is.  It became more apparent when we started the Odyssey of the Mind team meetings.  Two boys on the team are both in first grade, and they are reading on a higher level than her.  I started to worry.  I finally knew that it was time to act when she got her second report card, and had a lot of Needs Improvements.  I spoke to my family about it, and my sister said that she went to the Sylvan Learning Center when my nephew was having issues with reading.  I made an appointment that day.

We went to the assessment this past Saturday, and went yesterday for the results. As I expected, she was found to be reading lower than her expected reading level. They said that she had no issues with reading comprehension, but that her reading needed to catch up. Therefore, I worked with them to tailor a program, so that by the time first grade is over, she will be ready for second grade.

It is a little expensive, but when I read how much private tutors are, I realized it was comparable to hiring someone who would come to my house. Also, detecting and fixing the problem early will be better than waiting til she is in sixth grade, and reading at a third-grade level. I was a girl once, and I know how hard it can be. If I can make it easier for her, then I will do anything I can.

That’s the thing about being a parent. You want your children to have it better than you did, and it doesn’t how much it’s going to cost. It is especially hard when you are living in an area where everything is so competitive. Parents shuffle their kids to 3-4 extracurricular activities, while holding full-time jobs. The kids are expected to be the best, and their schoolmates even pay attention to their progress. Money isn’t a problem, so the parents spend whatever it takes, so their kids have a higher chance of success later on in life. It’s something that my ex doesn’t understand because he has never really been a father.

Even though people tell me what is the point of keeping him abreast of what is going on with the kids, I still try. I am hoping that one day he will wake up, and be the father that the children need (and want). I called to see if he would contribute to her tutoring. He said that I need to try and work with her more with workbooks and flash cards, and that is too much money to spend. The old me would have started ranting and yelling. I would have told him that it’s easy for him, who barely sees the children, to tell me to help her more at home because he doesn’t have to do it himself. I would have continued on saying that he can go on all these trips and events with his friends, but as always, when it comes to his kids, he starts coming up with a 1,000 excuses why there is no point to pay the money. It’s easy for someone who has barely paid for a birthday party, their extracurricular activities, or anything extra for the kids to tell me what needs to be done.

The older and “wiser” me just said that it’s fine if he doesn’t want to pitch in, and that I will deal with the tutoring expenses on my own. I left it at that. It felt good not to start this tug-of-war with him on something that he will never get. My family is right. When the kids get older, they will realize how much their mother has done for them, while their father hasn’t contributed to much of anything. I am glad that I am getting her this help. I already see how sad she got when Cebastian was jumping with joy on getting all these Oustandings and Goods on his report card, while she only got Satisfactory and Needs Improvement. By the time second grade starts, Isabelle will be reading way beyond her reading level, and she will not feel as though she is nothing less than what she is really is. A super smart kid.

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Post tags: children, education, reading, tutor

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It’s hard being my children’s mother and father. I am the only one there to take them to school, tuck them in at night, and drive them around to all of their events. People think that I always have to be in control. However, if they were in my shoes, they would understand. You don’t have anyone to help you make decisions when you are raising kids on your own, and those decisions affects their lives.

Today I almost had a nervous breakdown because I tried delegating some of my responsibility, and it backfired on me. I know that this doesn’t mean that I can’t delegate to reliable people in the future, but it will be harder for me to now. I actually burst out in tears because I was tired of the lack of help, especially from the person who should be helping me the most.

However, when I talk to the kids, I know that all I must be doing something right. I was in the car with Isabelle. She said, “Mommy, a little girl hit me.”

I said, “What? When?”

“This weekend, and daddy didn’t do anything.”

“How did you feel?” I look in the rearview mirror.

“Sad and mad.”

“Why mad?”

“He should have said something. I know if you were there, you would have told her not to hit me.”

It made me smile that my children see me as their protector. It’s something that I never felt growing up, so I’m glad that my children look at me differently.

I asked my son why didn’t he do his homework this weekend. He responded, “Because I was waiting to do it with you.”

“Why?”

“I know you really help me.”

I realize that I know that it’s hard raising two kids on my own. I sometimes want to tear my hair out because I have conflicting events, disciplining them alone, and have to split my attention between them. But, when I see how much my kids cuddle with me, trust that I will help or protect them, and look at me with awe, then I know that it’s all worth it.

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Post tags: being mother and father, children, raising children alone, raising kids alone, single mother, Single parent

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Every morning, there are little feet that titter tatter to my room and jumps in my bed. It usually happens when I am heavily asleep, so I don’t notice until I get up and see a bunch of brown curls next to me. A little girl is attached to this pool of curls sleeping away. Sometimes she is joined by a boy with way too much hair who is sleeping on my other side.

Since Cebastian was born, he has slept with me. I would stay up for hours staring away at the little person who had come from me. Then it was followed by Isabelle, who I stared at for hours as well. Since then, I’ve tried to get them to sleep in their room. Cebastian usually does, but Isabelle still sneaks in. To curb this a bit, I’ve tried to allow them to only sleep with me on the weekends, but that they have to stay in their rooms during the week. It hasn’t worked with Isabelle.

Secretly, I love that the kids still want to sleep with me. I feel warm, protected, and happy. My family says that I need to stop this behavior because what if I find someone? I honestly am at the point that I don’t think I will find someone, so does it matter if they still sleep with me? Logically I know that I shouldn’t allow this, so I need to do something about it.

I know that I should return them to their rooms when they come to my room. The only problem is that I don’t notice until it’s morning and time to wake up. I do need to talk to Isabelle, and make her understand that she needs to stay in her room. But, how I do that when I love that she doesn’t?

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Post tags: children, co-sleep, co-sleeping, cosleep, cosleeping, Sleep, sleeping, sleeping with kids

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The kids’ school sent home voluntary forms for the kids to participate in Math-A-Thon. When I saw that it began with the words “Math,” and my daughter needed a little initiative when it comes to learning, I decided to check out the site to see what it was all about. Math-A-Thon is a volunteer-based fundraising program for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is a pediatric treatment and research facility where doctors treat children with serious diseases, like cancer. The hospital is where other doctors send their patients when they have run out of solutions. It is doing wonderful things for children, and its doctors usually are paving the way in medical solutions that will one day be the norm. Many of their work is funded by donations by individuals all over the world (including me). When I saw that the Math-A-Thon was for St. Jude Children’s Research Hopsital, I jumped at the chance to enroll Isabelle and Cebastian.

On top of the fact that the children are helping children with critical diseases, they are also sharpening their math and comprehension skills. This is how St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital explains the Math-A-Thon:

“The program includes a free math curriculum supplement for grades K-8 that students complete after obtaining sponsorships from family and friends. Benefits The benefits of Math-A-Thon add up to help a good cause. Students who participate will: improve math and comprehension skills solve age-appropriate math problems understand the importance of helping others This all equals help for St. Jude patients battling cancer and other catastrophic childhood diseases. How it Works The Math-A-Thon DVD is shown and students take home the Student/Parent Guide. Students return the signed permission/consent form to the coordinator. Students obtain sponsors, and then complete their Funbook by solving a variety of math problems. After completing the problems, students collect donations from their sponsors and return them to their coordinator. Students and schools earn prizes depending on total funds collected.”

The site is organized by grade level and it shows seven activities, initially. The kids and I went through them, and they are a little harder than what they are learning at school, and I’m glad. It forces them to actually think about the problem, instead of having the answer right in front of them.

If your school offers Math-A-Thon, definitely enroll your child(ren) in it.  It’s a great program that helps your children help children with life-threatening diseases while doing it in an educational way.

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Post tags: Child, Jude Children, math-a-thon, mathathon, Pediatrics, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

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My kids have different personalities and taste. Ever since they were little, Cebastian preferred things you would usually consider “boy stuff,” while Isabelle preferred things that you would think “girl stuff.” However, with this difference comes another one. Learning.

I know that I shouldn’t compare my children, but I am doing it out of worry. With Cebastian, I never had to worry when it came to school. His teachers always exclaimed that he is one of the brightest kids in the class. He was reading and writing by the time he was four. There were some issues with his speech, and I got a speech therapist for that, but other than that, Cebastian has never had any problems.

Isabelle is having issues at school. Her teacher told me at the first parent/teacher conference that she was worried. Isabelle was having problems with number recognition, sight words, and reading. I have bought her flash cards, started focusing more on her when it came to her homework, and try to read with her every night. She has made significant progress, and I’m happy about that, but she is still struggling.

I once read a book called “MotherStyles: Using Personality Type to Discover Your Parenting Strengths,” which tries to help your parenting by you knowing your personality type and your child(ren)’s.  After reading this book, which is one of the best parenting books I’ve ever read, I realized that Isabelle’s personality is the complete opposite of mine, while Cebastian’s is exactly like mine. I know that I need to adjust the way I teach her because she is more of a visual and auditory learner, while I am more of a kinesthetic one.  I’ve asked the teacher for some techniques, and she told me to use flash cards, pictures, and detailing the problem.  It seems to be working cause her interim report card came back that she has improved immensely.  However, her reading is still not where it should be.

I worry that laziness might be a factor. When I am asking Cebastian questions when he is doing his homework, she can usually gets the answer before him. However, when I see her work, I can tell that she raced through it.  I keep telling her that it doesn’t matter if she finishes first or not, it’s about trying her best.

Education is very important to me, and I want my kids to excel in it.  I wonder if maybe getting a tutor is the best next step.

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Post tags: Child, education, Learning, reading, school

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My mother always taught my sisters and me that family comes first, and that we always have each other’s back. It’s something that I want to instill in my children as well. For awhile, I was worried. They constantly fought and kept yelling to one another:

“I hate him/her!”

“She/he is NOT my brother/sister!”

“Mommy, I wish I had a little brother/big sister!”

I thought that the day would never come that these two kids would get along. I was wrong.

Since Isabelle started going to school with Cebastian, their relationship has changed.

1. They look out for one another
2. They play together
3. They hold conversations together

When we went to dinner with my sister, we were both impressed on the conversation they were having. We couldn’t believe that these two children who used to bicker all the time were actually holding a conversation that was pretty interesting. I realized that I had nothing to worry about. These kids are going to be close, just like their ages. They were practically raised like twins.  When Cebastian was not even two, Isabelle was born. Therefore, they don’t remember life without the other.

I remember right after I had Isabelle, Cebastian was brought into the room.

“Look, that’s your sister.”

He pretended she didn’t exist, and it remained that way for a year. If she was on the floor, he walked over her. If I tried to get him to come near her, he wouldn’t look at her. It wasn’t until she started walking and moving around that he realized that it wasn’t just him anymore.

I’m glad that they are getting along and actually thinking about one another. I put them into a program called “Kidnesthetics” that teaches them to think outside the box, and I’ve noticed they have gotten closer cause of that as well. Next week, they start “Odyssey of the Mind,” so they will have another activity to do together.

While doing homework and waiting for the quiche to heat up, Isabelle began crying.

“I want a bunk bed like Cebastian.”

“Well, you are six, so maybe we’ll check them out.”

She smiled and looked at Cebastian, who was also smiling.

“I worry cause you still like sneaking into my bed, so what if you fall down the bed stairs?”

“Isabelle, what time do you think you will head to mommy’s room?” Cebastian excitedly asked.

“Three,” she answered.

“I’ll come get you, help you down the stairs, and then go back to my room, ok?”

“Ok.”

I smiled.

I love my sisters with all of my heart, and I can’t imagine life without them. I’m glad that my mother forced us to get along and be as close as we are now. I’m happy that my children are heading in that direction.

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Post tags: brother, sister

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When I was in elementary school, I would always see the smartest kids in the class participating in this program called “Odyssey of the Mind.” I always wanted to do it, but my parents didn’t have enough time to take me around, so I just sat there admiring these kids and wish that I could be one of them.

It was a pleasant surprise to find out that my children’s school had their own Odyssey of the Mind program.  I quickly signed up to learn more about it.  I definitely got more excited when I found out that our school’s PTA was funding the program.   Last night, I went to the parent meeting.

Odyssey of the Mind is an international program, so kids all over the world compete.  However, for kids in first and second grade, they are in a non-competitive division, which I think it’s great at that age.  They are presented a certificate at the end to indicate the completion of the program.

During the year, kids have to answer one problem.  For my kids’ team, we have to answer the following one:

Primary: Surprise Party Grades K-2 The team is to create and present a humorous performance that includes a Surprise Party for a team-created character. The theme of the party is a surprise because it is being given for something that is not normally celebrated. Partygoers will give three gifts that help symbolize the theme of the party. The performance will also include an original party “noisemaker” that makes an unusual sound instead of a loud sound. Cost limit: $125 USD.

As you can see, there is a cost limit of $125.  This is for all the materials used for the project.  There are also short-term problems that the kids have to answer in a quick and spontaneous fashion.

This program is great because it teaches children to hold on to their creativity.  Like the coordinator said, after 1st grade, children tend to lose that for one reason or the other. This helps them encapsulate that.  I see how creative both of my children are.  Isabelle spends her day drawing and painting, while Cebastian loves to build things with his Legos.  I don’t want them to lose that, so I am glad that this program is around.

A parent or two usually coaches the team.  This other mother and I volunteered to be co-coaches.  I can use my organizational and time management skills to keep the kids on task.  I already created a Google Calendar for us that has all the meetings and events, and used Google Docs to keep track of the contact list.

I think it also helps children with their problem-solving skills, which is very important when they go out in the real world.  It is for all types of kids, so it’s not just for the outgoing child, but also for the shy child who stands in the back.  One thing that the teachers have been telling is that Cebastian and Isabelle tend to not want to get involved in group activities.  They are like me where they prefer to work independently.  I am hoping that this program helps them want to work as a team.  Even if you don’t want to work in a team, you usually do.  I want to prepare them for that.

If your child’s school has this program, then definitely check it out.  I am going to see if I can even create team shirts.  I will have the kids be creative and come up with the design. =)

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Post tags: Child, Creativity, education, Elementary school, first grade, Odyssey of the Mind, Second grade

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Halloween is one of our favorite times of the year. It has two of my favorite passtimes: dressing up and candy. My mother has always been obsessed with it, and passed this obsession to my sisters and me. It’s something that I have also passed on to my own kids. My birthday is pretty close to Halloween, so that also helped as well. One of my first birthday parties was a costume party in Panama. This is when Halloween was non-existent there. My parents, who had been in the USA, brought it back with them. The whole neighborhood went to my party. Even now, when we meet someone from the old neighborhood, they still talk about how great the first costume party was that they ever attended.

Luckily, when we came the U.S., we were living in Ft. Belvoir, so it was safe enough for children to go out on their own and everyone celebrated Hallowen. We had a great time hitting all the houses, and actually had to return home to get a new bag cause the first one would fill up quickly.

In my teenage years, I went through the whole “I’m too old to trick-or-treat” phase, but that didn’t last long when I turned 17. I discovered wearing a costume and heading down to Georgetown. You would see all kinds of wonderful costumes, and my younger sister K. and I rediscovered our love for Halloween.

After that, we couldn’t be stopped. We loved it! Here are some of the costumes I’ve worn in the past:

Cebastian, at first, hated costumes.  He would take them off in a second.  It wasn’t until he was three that he realized what happens when you wear a costume.  I had to put on his Spiderman pajamas because he refused to wear one.  When we were trick-or-treating, he realized that iI get candy?  After that, there were no issues.  This year he wants to be a werewolf, so I am glad that we can finally stop being a ninja or Jedi.  

On the other hand, Isabelle never gave me any issues.  She gladly put her costume on.  The only thing is that I can’t leave her side.  She is afraid of any little thing, so if I leave her to go to a door alone (this really means with her brother and cousin), she will scream like someone is attacking her.  Even now, if we go to the Halloween store, she will not enter unless I am holding her hand.  I was shocked that she wanted to be a vampiress this year.  She is definitely taking after her mother.

This year, I have been so busy that I haven’t been able to fully be as excited for Halloween as I usually am because of the workload I’ve been having.  However, now that this project is finally over, I am going to get ready for the festivities.  I still haven’t gotten my costume, so I need to get going on that.  At this point, I’ll choose anything that looks good and not every single woman will have.  Even if I don’t, as long as the kids have a good Halloween, I’ll be happy.

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Post tags: children, Costumes, family, halloween, holiday, Trick-or-treating, United States

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Cebastian got a bigger bike for his birthday. When we tried to ride it in the parking lot, he kept falling off. He had been riding his previous bike with no training wheels, so I don’t understand why he couldn’t do it with this bike. This Trek bike is 24” bike compared to the 20” bike he used to have, so I am not sure if the height has anything to do with it. I am nervous, but I want Isabelle and him to be great bike riders, so they can ride with me. When I did the Tour de Cure, I saw kids who were around 11 riding with their parents, so I hope that will be us one day.

I saw this video on teaching children how to ride a bike, so I hope to have the same success they seem to have.

When I was learning how to ride my bike, my parents did what many other parents did. They held the bike of my bike and let go. I fell the first few times, but then I got the hang out of it. Maybe that will be the best way to go? If anyone has any tips or suggestions, I will gladly accept them.

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Post tags: bike, biking, children, teaching, teaching kids to ride a bike

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