Verbal abuse is a way to slowly deteriorate any kind of self esteem that a person has, and for that fact, feeling like she is a human being. For two years, I dealt with that kind of abuse from my ex. I once wrote in my diary how many words he called me, and it came up to being over 30 words. It’s been over five years since we have been together, and he still says the most heinous things to me when he wants to. When we lived together, I would hit him because I would get so enraged. I don’t have a bad temper unless you continue to push me, and that is what he did. I can’t even step foot in Fredericksburg without shaking because I begin to relive all those dark moments in my life that I’d rather forget. After leaving him, I had the worst self-esteem imaginable. I was lucky to have dated a wonderful guy who made me realize how a guy should treat a woman, something that my ex, even at 33, hasn’t learned to do.

This weekend I called him to ask him a question about Cebastian. He starts yelling on the phone, “You c*nt, b*tch, wh*re, sl*t” etc. etc. After yelling all these vulgarities, he hangs up. I was infuriated. It got to the point that I actually smashed the phone (lucky it didnt break). I felt the way I felt when I was living with this guy: dirty, low, and wretched. I IM him that I was just asking him something, and he repeats his rant and the words said above. After awhile, I receive a text from him calmly responding back to my question. Too late. I responded that I don’t want to speak to him.

I don’t understand how a 33-year old man can talk to a woman this way. My mom says that I should call the police on him, but I honestly don’t think there is anything the authorities can do. All I know is that I can’t allow this man to speak to me like this anymore. Every time he feels like it, he says, “F*ck you, go to hell, etc.” I really am at a loss as to what to do. I want to tell his parents, but they wouldn’t do anything about it. It bothers me because we are in our thirties, and I still can’t speak to this man in a civilized way.

I don’t want Cebastian to turn out like this man, and I don’t want Isabelle to think it’s ok to be with someone like that. I’m lucky that they only interact with him four days out of the month. I used to get upset that he never bothered to call them during the two weeks they aren’t with him, but now I am happy that he doesn’t. He has psychological issues, and it doesn’t seem that he has gotten any help for his hatred towards women.

I really do wish you could press charges against emotional abuse in the US. I feel like it’s worse than physical abuse because it’s like someone once said to me, “At least bruises disappear.”