What It’s Like Being a Single Mom
In the mornings, I usually go through my Google Reader to see if there are any exciting things to read or see before heading to work. When I got to my Hulu folder, I noticed that there was a series called “Mom’s Life,” that had a clip called “What It’s Like Being a Single Mom.” They were interviewing a single mother of two. Here is the clip:
Many of the things that she said resounded with me. As with anything, there is the good and the bad that goes alongside being a single mother.
The bad is that you worry that your children are missing something by not having a father. Yes, their father is around but scarcely. I think that this summer, he saw them a total of four weekends. Usually it was excuse after excuse as to why he couldn’t see them. It’s been almost three weeks, and I haven’t received a phone call, email, or text to see how their first day of school went, or how they are doing in general. It bothers me because I worry that they are going to think that is how fathers should behave. My son always excuses his behavior. Yesterday, he said his dad must be busy with the new puppy. I told him that this might be true, but his dad should at least call to see how they are doing. I learned from a wonderful mother of one of his classmates last year, who went through the same thing that you shouldn’t make excuses to their father’s absence, so I have started being honest, but in a way, so I don’t badmouth him (very, VERY hard not to do).
Another thing is that you are only person the children have to depend on. If something goes wrong, it’s just you. There is no one there to share the responsibility with, and sometimes that is tiresome and stressful. It is also lonely because you look around at all these married couple, and sometimes wish that you had someone beside you. However, some of my single girlfriends tell me that I am lucky that I have children because it’s even lonelier when you don’t have any and are not with anyone. I’ve also had some married girlfriends who tell me that I am lucky to still be able to do things with my friends that they don’t do much of anymore, so I guess I have the best of both worlds.
Now the good. The good is that you don’t have to worry about anyone else’s parenting style clashing with yours. When my ex and I were together, we were always arguing about whose parenting was better. I know it’s not like that with everyone, but for me, that is how it was. I am the only one who is disciplining and teaching the children, and that makes it so much easier.
It’s also what one of the mothers said, who was raised by a single mother, there is a special bond between your children and you because it’s just you. If they want to jump into bed and sleep beside me, they are able to do this. I know that on the weekends, the kids always want to sleep with me, which I love. My son is almost eight, and he loves to snuggle next to me. I have heard some mothers say that around seven is when their children started kind of wanting to have their parents stop fussing over them. I’m glad that my son hasn’t reached that stage yet, or I hope that he never will (I know he will).
After seeing this clip, I smiled and realized that I am very lucky to have the life that I have. Even if we don’t have the traditional household, with a father and mother, we are a family with a special bond.
Photo Detail: Sculpture Garden, originally uploaded by dreamingindc.
