When To Introduce Your Kids to Your Significant Other
Posted by dcfemella | Posted in children | Posted on 24-08-2009
View Comments
I had just picked up the kids from their weekend with their father. As customary, I asked them how their weekend went.
My daughter excitedly said, “Oh! We saw the movie Shorts.”
I said, “Really?”
My ex never takes the kids anywhere unless he has a girlfriend.
“Who did you go with?”
There was a long pause. Finally, my son says, “Daddy and H.”
I was annoyed for one reason: This is the 10th girl that he’s had around the kids.
It’s something that I have been telling him for years that he shouldn’t do because he is going to confuse the kids, but he continues doing it. Hopefully this is the last one of this constant stream of women that my ex seems to have, but I doubt it. He is still very immature, lousy father, horrible son, uneducated, so he will never know any better.
It made me wonder when to introduce a significant other to my children. The only guy I ever had around them was my first boyfriend after I left my ex in 2005. We were friends for seven months before we were together, and he met the kids six months after that. Other than that, there have been no other men.
I’ve seen some women who right away introduce their new boyfriend to their children. I definitely don’t want to do that. I thought maybe six months down the road, but is that unrealistic?
My ex is never going to change, and he will continue bringing different women around the kids. There is nothing I can do about that. I can just focus on my own actions. However, I am not sure when the perfect time to introduce my kids to someone would be because you can’t put a time on anything.
If anyone has the answer, please let me know.
Photo Details: The red balloon diaries *1, originally uploaded by cattycamehome
.
That is out of my league, but I totally understand why you would be annoyed. I guess there's nothing you can do but talk to your kids and let them know why you disapprove of it?
I don't even know how to even talk to them about it, but I am trying to. I don't want them to think it has to do with their dad having a girlfriend. It's about how many have been around them.
It's good that you're taking the time to consider this. Too many parents are off doing their own thing without thinking about how their actions effect their children. It's really too bad your ex can't (or won't) understand this.
I don't think there is a specific time limit that should be placed on introducing the significant other to your children. It would probably be best to wait until you know how serious the relationship is. The worse thing that can happen is for the kids to get more attached than you do. This will make a break up 10x harder.
I'm sure your kids are smart and I know you realize the importance of open communication. I'm sure the kids can handle it. It's too bad that they have to.
You're right. There shouldn't be a specific time limit, but I do wish I would have set one with him during the court proceedings because it might have stopped the revolving door that seems to be going on in front of the kids.
That is out of my league, but I totally understand why you would be annoyed. I guess there's nothing you can do but talk to your kids and let them know why you disapprove of it?
I don't even know how to even talk to them about it, but I am trying to. I don't want them to think it has to do with their dad having a girlfriend. It's about how many have been around them.
It's good that you're taking the time to consider this. Too many parents are off doing their own thing without thinking about how their actions effect their children. It's really too bad your ex can't (or won't) understand this.
I don't think there is a specific time limit that should be placed on introducing the significant other to your children. It would probably be best to wait until you know how serious the relationship is. The worse thing that can happen is for the kids to get more attached than you do. This will make a break up 10x harder.
I'm sure your kids are smart and I know you realize the importance of open communication. I'm sure the kids can handle it. It's too bad that they have to.
You're right. There shouldn't be a specific time limit, but I do wish I would have set one with him during the court proceedings because it might have stopped the revolving door that seems to be going on in front of the kids.