I Don’t Want to Be in a Bad Relationship

When I finally feel positive about love and wanting to settle down, something comes up that negates those feelings. I don’t think there is anyone in my family that has a healthy and loving relationship. There is constantly some kind of drama going on where a woman in my family has dealt with another issue with the man she is with. It scares me because I fear that I am going to be one of them. I already had a string of bad relationships, and I think I have become wiser. However, when I talk to my family, I feel like maybe we are all cursed.

I am trying to not let these fears overcome me, but these stories make me feel suffocated and afraid. I feel as though I have been alone for a long time. I can’t complain though. The kids and I have a blast together, and I don’t have to worry about stressing over a bad relationship all the time. Eventually, I will find that person who complements me, and we get along great. Nevertheless, I am not going to settle because I feel lonely. I have living proof that it never works out.

Photo Detail: Pain in my heart (365/241), originally uploaded by JenniPenni.

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angrykeyboarder

Frankly I think truly good relationships are the exception and not the norm. You just have to take your chances.

I don't know how long you've been out of your last relationship, but I've read that the healing process can take at least half as long as the original relationship.

My last breakup was in late 2003. Had other circumstances not happened to exacerbate the situation I'd probably be in another relationship right now.

However, we were involved for two years and knowing me, I'd bet that if everything were otherwise OK at the time of the breakup, I'd have not felt ready for love again for a couple of years.

The other bad things that happened around the time made my situation more unique and that's why I still don't see myself falling in love for quite some time to come.

In fact, I've pretty much given up on it. But then, I'm a "few" years older than you.. It's too soon for you to, but then you do want to be ready. Regardless of circumstances though it's a crap shoot.....

Adriana

We must come from the same mold. To be honest, there is not one woman whose marriage or relationships have worked out in my family either. The curse is broad because the men's luck is no better. Don't let this bring you to the point where you miss out on the love you deserve. If you embrace the insecurities or the fear, you are letting this curse take over. Enough is enough! It's time to enjoy YOUR life and fall in love!

dcfemella

I know I shouldn't let my family's luck in relationships affect me. I've been super happy for awhile, and I am ready for a healthy relationship, but my family's luck scares me. I wrote this pretty quickly, so it probably doesn't make sense, but do you know that you are the only one who understood what I was saying?

Adriana

What?? Please tell me you are kidding? How can I be the only one that understands? Either we really are both cursed LOL or we are the only Jerry Springer families, and that is not possible! LOl ; )

I know what you mean when you say the luck worries you. God knows you have all the reason to be worried. I'm not saying that to be negative, I am saying that to be real. BUT what is even more real is that if you don't put that aside somehow, someway, you will die saying, "Shat if?" "What if I had stopped thinking and just loved or allowed someone to love me?" Don't let family take that away from you. YOU are AMAZING and you deserve love. The thing is, it's on it's way. But you have to be ready to receive it when it arrives, or it will just walk on by.

DCFemella

Don't let me be misunderstood

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