Can You Really Be Upset With Someone Who Always Disappoints?
Originally uploaded by sean eng
When someone disappoints you, should you get upset when he/she does it once more? I realized today that my friend is right. You really can’t. My ex is the same person he was when I met him ten years ago: irresponsible, self centered, a dreamer, and neurotic. I could add more traits, but I don’t think there is a point on going there. He has never been a good father or person, in general, so I should stop getting stressed when he screws me over.
He hasn’t seen the kids in a month or called, so I thought he would make more of an effort to pick them up for the weekend. No, he got “lost.” He mentions he has a Blackberry. I tell him to check the maps or online, he says no, he doesn’t want to. I kept pressing the matter, and he said that he doesn’t have internet on his Blackberry. This is after he was on Gmail Chat the entire time. I had to drop my daughter off at her game, take my son to his game, run to her game, pick her up, and go to my son’s game. He not once showed up.
I send him an email stating what happened today, and he says that I am trying to keep him away from his children and that I try to make him look bad (huh?). When I was with him, my best friend told me that is something abusive people do. They turn everything around on the other person, so they end up with no fault. It use to work in the past, but now, it doesn’t.
One of the greatest thing about being human is our ability to constantly evolve. It bothers me to see someone who is still the same person he was when I met him ten years before. I fear passing away before my kids are self sufficient. Why? They would be raise by their father. I think it would be like Terms of Endearment, and he would eventually give the kids to my mother. However, I wouldn’t like that because then the kids would feel like they weren’t good enough for their father to keep them, so he gave them away. Even though, in reality, he is the one who isn’t good enough for them.
He is never going to change, so I have to realize that. I sometimes am tired of being mother and father to the kids, and having no help. However, I’d rather deal with a little stress than have to endure this man. I hope he begins to evolve, but for now, I have to evolve my thinking to not get upset when he once again disappoints the kids.
