The Bad Driver’s Handbook: Hundreds of Simple Maneuvers to Frustrate, Annoy, and Endanger Those Around You

Originally uploaded by billypalooza

10. Rubberneckers – If you really want to see the car accident, then stop your car and look. I hate when the person in front of me breaks real hard, and then you see his/her neck trying to see the car accidents. It isn’t because they want to see if it’s someone he/she knows. It’s to see dead people. If you need that form of entertainment, then rent a horror film.

9. Speed up and slow down – This irritates me because these drivers usually slow down for no apparent reason. Some of them actually break super hard and there is no one in front of them. It’s not like you are tailgating because even after you get over to the next lane, they continue to brake even when no one is in front or behind them.

8. Wait til light is about to turn green to start rummaging through their stuff – The light has been red forever and you see the person’s head in front of you looking straight ahead. Everyone knows that usually after two minutes, the light is going to turn green. This is when that person decides to start searching for stuff. The light turns green and still no movement. I usually wait 15 seconds to honk at them. Then you see them looking back all miffed that you honked. Next time start looking for whatever you are looking for when the light turns red, and not when it’s turning green.

7. Entering a highway driving 25MPH – This one is dangerous, especially when it’s a short merge area. I was taught in driving school to accelerate when you are entering a highway. However, I have seen more and more people slowing down when they are about to enter one. It’s scary because usually trucks are in the slow lane, and you have to battle them when merging over. Add to that, driving slower than the speed limit. How did these people pass their driving exam?

6. Tailgating even when they can go around you – I can understand if you were driving extremely slow on the fast lane, and they want you to move. However, if you are in a slow lane, going 10MPH over the speed limit, then why the hell are you tailgating me. The worst are the ones who don’t tailgate the slowpoke in the fast lane, but they are tailgating you. When I was in my aggressive stage and the kids weren’t in the car, I would just brake hard so they could realize that it wasn’t going unnoticed.

5. They pretend the parking lot is a highway – It’s been a growing trend. People going full force in the parking lot. Even when they see children around, they decide to pick up the speed. The worst are the ones who were driving slow before entering the parking lot, and then all of a sudden, they raise all hell. I’ve screamed a few times “This isn’t a highway!”

4. Wait til cars are coming to turn – I have seen this so many times when people are turning. They have the street to themselves and do not go, but when cars start approaching, they zoom out. It took you to see cars to decide to go?

3. There is no one behind you, but they cut you off and almost cause a car accident – You look behind you to see if there are cars following you and see no one. There are different versions of this. They cut you off…
      a. And then start driving super slow
      b. Immediately turn, usually without a signal light
      c. Almost cause a car accident and then get back over to the lane they were originally in

2. Driving ridiculously slow and then speeding up when you try to cut them off – This happened to me last Thursday. This guy was in the fast lane driving 45 MPH and wouldn’t get over. I finally decide to get over to cut him off. I am going 65 MPH. This a**hole starts going 70MPH, so I couldn’t get over. I still cut him off and then he starts flashing his high beams. I look back and he starts driving again at a slow pace. Why do you want to make people suffer with your driving?

1. Driving super slow even though they see the light is green. Once it turns yellow, they drive like banshees on wheels – Why is this one #1? Because you always get left behind to wait for the light to turn green again. I always wonder what the hell is going on through these drivers’ minds? You wonder if they did it maliciously or they are totally clueless. Either way, you go into a murderous rage cause while they are cruising away, you are left cursing at them.