Are You Able to Forgive Even Yourself?
I have finally started to forgive the people in my past who have hurt me the most. One of those people is Laura. We had a long discussion yesterday, and I feel no more anger and resentment towards her. In the relationship that we had, we both were mean, vicious and stupid. I am finally able to say sorry and accept her apology as well.
We both suffered from self esteem issues: she lacked it, and I had too much. This is one of the reasons that we both clashed because she couldn’t stand how narcissistic I could be, and I couldn’t stand how she would handle situations. Additionally, we were too controlling of one another. I told her awhile back that on the The Hills (yes, I watch the show…so what!), LC and Heidi reminded me a lot about us, especially the last season’s finale. She told me yesterday that she saw it and thought the same. Maybe one day we will be the best of friends, but for right now, we can’t. She said she had things that she has to work on, and I have to work on my ego. I started watching the History Channel’s “The Seven Deadly Sins: Pride.” They said that it’s considered the deadliest of all the sins, so I know I need to work on it. It has affected my past relationships, and so I need to find a happy medium.
Forgiving someone is hard. However, when you finally are able to, you will never be the same. You will feel free because all the hatred and anger that you held within you is gone. I don’t think we will ever be friends again. She is not someone who I would socialize with. She has insane issues, and doesn’t know who she is. I think her main problem is that she is still lying to her family about her being a lesbian. She needs to be true to herself, but I don’t think she ever will. It’s like my friend said. She is someone who will never be happy, so even if 1,000 people love her, it won’t make a difference becasue she doesn’t love herself. I just hope that she will one day do that.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
Forgiveness is love in its most noble form – Anon
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future - Paul Boese
To have the power to forgive,
Is empire and prerogative,
And ’tis in crowns a nobler gem,
To grant a pardon than condemn - Samuel Butler
To err is human; to forgive, divine – Alexander Pope
He who has injured thee was stronger or weaker than thee. If weaker, spare him; if stronger, spare thyself -Seneca
