DC Femella

I understand that living in a condo you are bound to deal with some noise from the upstairs neighbors.  For two months, I’ve had to deal with these contractors renovating the upstairs condo, after that witch of a lady left.  These new neighbors make MORE noise.  I am frustrated.  I know if I go upstairs, I am going to curse one of them out.  I have kids, and my kids barely make any noise and their feet are not so heavy.  These new people let their kids stomp and run all over the place, and I’m to the point that I am ready to scream.  I feel like I should have gotten a townhouse farther out, so I wouldn’t have to deal with this.  My mother is coming to stay with the kids for four days when I go to LA, and I know she is not going to be so nice.  I hope this letter will remedy this before she comes.

I am going to put this in the bulletin board.  Is it too bitchy?

I think we need to remember that we live in a place where we live in close proximity with other people.  Maybe the floors aren’t insulated properly or people just have heavy feet, but I am getting to the point that I am regretting that I bought this condo.  The noise is unbearable.  I hear people running and stomping above me, and I don’t know if this will ever stop.  

I understand that in a condo environment, you are going to hear noise upstairs.  However, there is a difference between the usual noise and the excessive amounts of noise that are plaguing me now.

Please be considerate of others.  The condo association doesn’t seem like they can do anything, so I have to resort to this or calling the police.  I really don’t want to waste the police’s time.  My patience is low because I already had to deal with almost two months of contractors making crazy amounts of noise, and they are now gone and still no relief.

You can sense when you or others are stomping, running, or pounding, so here a few tips to quiet down the movements you make:

1. Don’t wear shoes

2. If you or someone else is running or stomping, STOP!  

3. Consider getting a sound specialist who can give you tips on how to make your place more sound proof

I’m not trying to be malicious, but when my kids are telling me that they are scared, wake up at night, or I can barely relax or write cause I hear ridiculous amounts of noise upstairs for the past two months, it’s time for this letter.

The Three Kings come tonight, so I have already placed chocolates, candies, and a few small stuffers in the kids’ stockings.  The holiday season is officially over tomorrow, and I’m sad.  No more Christmas tree, stockings, and all the holiday decorations that go with it.  =( 

I love that I am Latina because we get an extended holiday compared to other cultures.  During this time, I miss being in Panama with all of my family.  The holidays are a much more festive time over there because you seem to focus more on family and the community surrounding you.  Additionally, we (children and adults) party the entire holidays.

My children are spoiled.  When I was growing up, we used a worn-out sock to hang for the Three Kings (Reyes Magos) to put candy in.  During Christmas, we only got one or two presents a piece.  Why was I happier?  Every house had their doors opened, and the family went from party to party celebrating the holidays.  It’s so solitary here, and I miss the sense of community that we had in Panama.

Don’t get me wrong.  The holidays are nice here too, but it’s a quieter celebration and filled with teaching children the joys of consumerism.  I am guilty of it as well, but now that I am thinking, maybe it’s time that this changes.

Feliz Dia de Los Reyes Magos!

I got all these gift cards during the holidays.  My dad has this tea kettle from OXO that is amazing, so I decided that with the $25 Bed, Bath, Beyond gift card, I would get one.  I dragged my aunt to the store to get the tea kettle.  After looking at the OXO tea kettles for what seemed like an hour, I chose the one I wanted. 

I held it like it was a newborn baby and was saying to my cousin that she was awesome for finding it.  We get to the cash register, and I carefully placed it on the table.  The cashier rang it up.  I plopped down my gift card like it was a Black American Express, and smiled at my cousin like I had it going on.

The cashier looked at me preplexed.  

“Ummm…I’m sorry but this is Bath & Body Works gift card.”

I felt like I was about two feet tall.  I said nevermind cause I usually can get Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons and sheepishly walked away.

Two people drifting apart is a way of life.  Maybe they both started off on the same level, but then one was left behind.  This is what happened with my ex (father of my kids) and me.  While I am extremely ambitious, focused on my children, and have a hunger for learning, he is the total opposite.  I got my college degree while I was about to pop with both kids with no help from him, even though we were living together.  I dropped the kids off at my parents so I could go to school.  He doesn’t see the kids but four days out of the week, and he has not gone back to school.  He asked for my help once, and I gave him all this information.  Nothing.  

I didn’t realize how much this guy was jealous of me and my achievements until he came for Christmas Eve.

The entire time he was at my condo, he was sizing it up.  Additionally, he kept criticizing everything. 

• “The litter box should be some place else”
• “Your kitchen floors are not right”
• “Your bathroom toilet is running”
• “I think your refrigerator is broken”

I ignored him because I realized it was just jealousy that I bought my own place in Fairfax, while he has a house that is falling apart in Fredericksburg.  

He spent the entire time on his laptop, which made me wonder why he even bothered to show up.  Instead of researching to find a good college or something to that extent, he was playing a Vampire game on Myspace.  Hello!  Myspace was sooooo 2007.  

He bitched about taking out the trash for me; helping me hook up the Wii; and anything under the sun.

He lacks the culture that a 32-year old man should have.  He didn’t know what proscioutto was; kept asking what this and that was when I got Cheesecake Factory appetizers; and looked awkward holding a glass of good, red wine.  

I noticed all of this and wondered how I ever was involved with such a uncultured, lazy man.  I think he realized that he was outclassed because he didn’t even spend Christmas with his kids.

He is now upset because of this, so he has resorted to being the dick he usually is.  

1. He is refusing to sign the passport form, so I can get the kids’ passport for Panama, so I might have to cancel the trip.  =(
2. He was calling every day to talk to his kids for a month cause we were getting along.  Now?  He is back to his old ways.  He didn’t even call the kids to wish them a happy new years.  
3. He called me two days after Christmas Even to say that my son might have learning issues.  Since my son was two, I have been taking him to speech therapy, volunteering at his school, teaching him on my own.  The teachers say he is one of the smartest kids in the class.  This guy has never even met the kids’ teachers or anything, but he slammed the phone when I said that he doesn’t know what he is talking about.

I wish he would just terminate his rights.  He doesn’t do anything except show my kids that he is a lazy, uneducated loser who still behaves as though he is in his early twenties.  

I’m shocked that he is still the way he is.  This is the first time since 2004 that I have been in the same roof as him.  I thought that maybe time had made him mature, but I have realized that he is the same uncultured, uneducated guy I met when I was 21.  

I hope he one day wakes up, or that he finds a strong woman who will help him with his disabilities. 

New Year’s Album

Out of the eight New Year celebrations I have celebrated in the 2000s, I will have to say that this was the best. My parents, children, and Haji were with me. I had an awesome spread that Martha Stewart would have been proud of. I should have invited more people over because now I have tons of champagne, wine, and food. There is always the weekend to invite people over.  There is also the Three Kings on Janauary 6th, and then the family is coming from Panama on the 8th.  Oh, and my younger sister coming in January or April.

The start of this year feels different. I feel confident, alive, and sure of myself. Other than love, I feel the rest of my life categories are doing pretty good.

1. Self - I am off antidepressants, writing every day, and ready to start learning a new language. Now that my sister said she will still be in Okinawa after her deployment, I am wondering if maybe Japanese would be better than French to learn.
2. Family - I have great children who seem happy. We have a wonderful extended family who are there with us whenever we need them. I want to really make an effort to talk to them in Spanish and not be so exasperated with them when they are not behaving. I can’t wait to head to Panama with them.
3. Health - I am at the weight that I want to be. My body is looking great, and I am drinking eight to ten glasses of water. My emotional health is getting there. The only thing I am worried about is the back/hip pain that I am experiencing. Time to make a doctor’s appointment.
4. Fun - I didn’t have much fun this year. The only trip I took was a horrible mess. I wanted to take a solo trip, but fear kept me from doing that. This year is different. I already have a LA trip planned in January. The kids and I are heading to Panama in April, and I plan on making the best of life.
5. Money - I did well last year. I bought a house, saved tons of money, and kept my debt to a minimum. This year I am going to be debt free and save more a month. My biggest motivator is viewing the world.
6. Career - At my full-time job, I want to get a raise, and make a certain amount in my part-time freelance career. I am already off to a good start, and I am not going to let anything get in my way.

I am not much of a resolutions-kinda gal. What I usually do is create a five-year plan, break it down into yearly goals, and then break those down into monthly, and then into daily goals. Depression made me procrastinate and not care much about myself. I am now happier (even though I don’t have Grover), and I plan to remain that way.

Check out my Dreaming in DC blog for details on my progress:

I hope that everyone is able to fulfill everything they want out of life. Life is too short to wait for opportunities and happiness to fall on your lap. Remember that.